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A rock (Free verse) by nisim2 A rock
is a rock rough as it seems?
is it fragile more than it is
does it just disguise the truth
or is it its way to make it through?
maybe the dolor can explain its acts
the one which permeates through its cracks
but what's all the fuss about being crude?
it just behaves the way it badly should
when the group has two camps to belong to
just going with the stream of who's who
you also can resist if it doesn't make sense
but you'd better keep sitting on the fence
so maybe that's the reason it looks like that
a rock can't be clumsy if it was made of heart
Up the ladder:
fish eye pie
Down the ladder:
You Showed Me
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 2.3333333
Posted: June 24, 2008 3:50 AM PDT; Last modified: June 24, 2008 3:50 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.6821256 Overall Rank: 12179 Comments:
[2]
nentwined @ 98.148.150.246
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26-Jun-08/8:26 PM
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Reply
The English of this piece is very awkward. Reads like a school assignment? Not sure you meant dolor or color (though both work about as well?) They end-rhymes (and near rhymes) feel very forced (and AABB tends to jump out as juvenile when reading something).
quite riddling - I want to find the trick inside the writing and answer it.
You know what a rock is? really? No, not your sad attempt at philosophising:
A foundation for a great house. A solid weapon of vengeance. The character of my penis when Angelina Jolie visits me in my dreams. A means to pass time by skipping it across bodies of water. A primate tool to crack hard shells and thus add more protein to it's diet... ultimately leading to larger brain size and walking on two feet, meat consumption and ultimately.... Your shitty attempts at philosophizing. Zero. 121 view(s)
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