Replying to a comment on:

A rock (Free verse) by nisim2

A rock is a rock rough as it seems? is it fragile more than it is does it just disguise the truth or is it its way to make it through? maybe the dolor can explain its acts the one which permeates through its cracks but what's all the fuss about being crude? it just behaves the way it badly should when the group has two camps to belong to just going with the stream of who's who you also can resist if it doesn't make sense but you'd better keep sitting on the fence so maybe that's the reason it looks like that a rock can't be clumsy if it was made of heart

nentwined 26-Jun-08/8:26 PM
The English of this piece is very awkward. Reads like a school assignment? Not sure you meant dolor or color (though both work about as well?) They end-rhymes (and near rhymes) feel very forced (and AABB tends to jump out as juvenile when reading something).




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001