Re: Revised Dream (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20 |
24-Mar-06/2:07 PM |
What pulls me into this poem is the repetition ~ it does sound prayer-like. I agree with Ranger that a positive based poem is refreshing.
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Re: Butterfly Belly, Orchid Face by Sunny |
24-Mar-06/12:43 PM |
I agree that the ( ) break the flow of this, but otherwise, it's a gem! Many visuals and consistent flood of colors.
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Re: Mid-July by Ranger |
24-Mar-06/9:09 AM |
Best I've read here thus far. Beautiful flow, beautiful form. Will come back for repeated reads just to sink into the river current that charges these words..
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Re: How small, this sleeping tiger by ecargo |
24-Mar-06/8:02 AM |
In this poem, I see "Monkey" - the name I gave to a kitten, found after a storm. My garden was her home and oh, she was stealth in her attack of any leaf floating by... and she could climb like a monkey, fast and furious.. and sleep with the birds in a nest (no kidding). She's an indoor cat now, but all the same hunt games in play. This is a precious poem, filled with the joy in watching the natural beauty of animals.
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Re: a comment on Indiscrete by ecargo |
24-Mar-06/7:55 AM |
Lol.. thanks for the positive potential, but I have to say most of my girlfriends would agree with your poem rather than the "giddy, sated and oddly triumphant" view. ;-)
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Re: Muff by Stephen Robins |
24-Mar-06/7:44 AM |
Oh my God, this is awful... *still laughing*
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Re: a comment on Empty Chronicles by Scarlett |
24-Mar-06/7:38 AM |
Binders have covers and Mulberry is also a color.
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Re: Indiscrete by ecargo |
24-Mar-06/6:39 AM |
An excellent write, tracking that unreachable, uncomfortable feeling after a one-night stand. (never had one myself, but my girlfriends have told me the emotions, much like the ones visually described here)..
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Re: Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim |
8-Mar-06/2:10 PM |
When I read this, I was humming along, as if written for a song. Enjoyed..
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Re: Edges by Blue Magpie |
23-Feb-06/3:13 PM |
I absolutely LOVE the beginning of this - the first two lines especially. You could make it tight with the examples and less attempt on the rhyme ~ this could be a beauty.
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Re: How Well I See by Blue Magpie |
23-Feb-06/3:06 PM |
For some reason, the Villanelle form scares the daylights out of me to attempt, but your poem flowed well and the repetition formed a circle around the meaning. Enjoyed and might inspire me to give the form a try!
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Re: The Acorn Daisies by MacFrantic |
23-Feb-06/2:44 PM |
Written in the harsh climate of beauty. Enjoyed this very much!
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Re: a comment on Watercolor Fairy by Scarlett |
21-Feb-06/11:01 AM |
Yes, "jostle" is better. And leave "a" out completely... Glad you liked the imagery. I love to paint with watercolors but you never know what it truly is going to look like till the next day, because it dries 20% lighter.. used to laugh and say that I had to wait for the watercolor fairy - hence the poem.
Thank you, Ranger, for your suggestions.
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Re: a comment on Empty Chronicles by Scarlett |
21-Feb-06/8:07 AM |
Thanks for your encouragement, Ranger.
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Re: A daisy chain for Nina by Caducus |
21-Feb-06/8:05 AM |
I'm sure I'm off base on this, especially given the comments following the poem.
But it seems to me that these are children throughout the entire poem.
She made a daisy chain, ah ~ that is sweet. I remember making flowers into necklaces when I was a young girl... but enough of that - brought back a lovely memory, 'tis all.
The marriage in the swamp is something children "play" at - playing house type of thing came to mind.
The headscarf - immediately made me think of cancer. Too many young face this and other children don't understand, they fear what's different...
The ache in the end, that she passed away ~ forever cherished, just as the chain is unending. Well, that's my ramblings...
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Re: a comment on Empty Chronicles by Scarlett |
21-Feb-06/7:41 AM |
Whoops... I sure did hit the red "x". Thank you for explaining what happened. Lol. I didn't realize I could delete someone else's response. See there, learn something new every day.
I hate to disappoint, Ranger and the rest of my stuff is sad in comparison. But mayhap I'll take a chance. Enjoying the site thus far!
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Re: Sunday i will dream again by Caducus |
21-Feb-06/7:35 AM |
Whew.... the images that flood from this poem are impressive. The pain of a love lost has been penned before but this was unique. Thoroughly enjoyed.
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Re: Tulips and Roses by Mona Lisa |
21-Feb-06/7:27 AM |
The beginning is lovely, makes me feel that this is a muse to you. An untouchable image of passion and the dream the desires to bloom in what "could have been." There is a break though, when the dream begins. This doesn't flow together as smoothly. Don't give up on this one!
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Re: Empty Chronicles by Scarlett |
21-Feb-06/7:18 AM |
Sadly, this is the best of my work and for there on out - it's all down hill. Lol.. In the meantime, while my muse sleeps beneath a morning glory bloom, I'll browse around.
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Re: a comment on Empty Chronicles by Scarlett |
21-Feb-06/4:50 AM |
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