Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

How Well I See (Villanelle) by Blue Magpie
If right, means only what is right for me, however frightful such a theory seems, so much depends on just how well I see and understand the true reality, so little on the cleverness of schemes. If right, means only what is right for me, am I, within my mind, at last set free to be as truly selfish as my genes? So much depends on just how well I see the linkages that span eternity, short-sightedness I’m sure only demeans. If right, means only what is right for me self knowledge is my first priority all else is someone else’s dreams. So much depends on just how well I see my place within the greater unity, a team within a universe of teams. If right, means only what is right for me, so much depends on just how well I see

Up the ladder: How Angels Sleep
Down the ladder: Harvester of Sorrow

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 10
.. 30
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 6.8333335
Weighted score: 5.493059
Overall Rank: 2789
Posted: June 23, 2005 11:51 PM PDT; Last modified: June 23, 2005 11:51 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[9] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 24-Jun-05/5:45 AM | Reply
It's difficult to handle an issue like this effectively in a form like this, but I think you've done well.
[8] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 71.130.8.12 | 24-Jun-05/11:48 AM | Reply
there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in Meatpie.
[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.23 > Bankrupt_Word_Clerk | 24-Jun-05/11:05 PM | Reply
Yes there is an ear in hearing and an I sight
the English language gives me such delight

I think you are pushing for the comment though.
[8] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 69.231.22.69 > Blue Magpie | 25-Jun-05/12:41 AM | Reply
I'm sorry. I was actually just typing the exact phrase that was on the television in the other room as I was reading your poem.
[8] Scarlett @ 66.210.233.6 | 23-Feb-06/3:06 PM | Reply
For some reason, the Villanelle form scares the daylights out of me to attempt, but your poem flowed well and the repetition formed a circle around the meaning. Enjoyed and might inspire me to give the form a try!
[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.26 > Scarlett | 1-Mar-06/5:18 AM | Reply
Writing a villanelle, like a sonnet or a Pantoum, is just a matter of practise and making the effort, naturally the first one or two are a little ropey, but keep going. Kids who can spend three hours a day practising football amaze me when they think they can learn to write good poetry in five minutes.
206 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001