poemranker ::How small, this sleeping tiger by ecargo

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 137734

How small, this sleeping tiger

by ecargo

Member since 2002 · Posted 27 Jan 2006 · Edited 27 Jan 2006 · 7 comments

Having frisked with hours, batting at time like involute dust in a sunstream he sprawls, lolls, small belly striped and rippling like tall grasses. With measured breath, he croons of garden forays, romps with shadows, prowls in jungles tamed to hand. Splayed in sleep, his paws recall the excitement of dogs like mastodons thundering the suburban savannahs, and the transient wonders of birds.

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mean 8.78 weighted 6.89 rank 243 views 268 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

7 comments

[7] Ranger 28-Jan-06/4:15 AM Reply
Yes, I like this.
[8] Dovina 28-Jan-06/9:32 AM Reply
Poetically speaking, this is good. It has form, unusual expression, metaphor (I think), and harks of Frost. For those reasons, I'd vote 10. But the reason I did not, and did on Elderking's recent one, is that the best poem, in my faulty opinion, is not the best written, it's the Trojan Horse that smuggles titillation into my sheltered life. Not sexual titillation necessarily, but connection with myself. Yours does that as I feel the tiger's caged existance, and I think you're hinting at more, but what?
[n/a] god'swife 28-Jan-06/1:45 PM Reply
You've got some lovely images here, a very real environment.

Somehow I have trouble imagining a cub frisking with hours, but i like batting at time. I can't understand why, but there it is.

Since you change from the cub awake to asleep, maybe you should start a new stanza at 'With measured breath.'

I don't understand 'tamed to hand.', or 'dogs like mastodons'(those would be some big-ass dogs).

I admire the meter and the assonance of the last eight lines. They display your understanding of poetics without being over the top.
[8] amanda_dcosta 29-Jan-06/10:10 AM Reply
I'll vote an -8-. A nice piece to think about. the wild cat with the mastodons. Very imaginative. I've been trying to think of something different when I came across your poem. Pretty good.

Now for taking your advice,....lol... but I did.
Check out my poem 'such is a child's heart'. I'd value criticism more than a vote. Do me the honors and check it out. Thanks.
[8] ALChemy 29-Jan-06/11:08 AM Reply
Yes and please check out my poem "Penny Loafer Blues".

Your poems good but it feels like it needs more, like it's just getting started.
[n/a] ecargo › ALChemy 29-Jan-06/5:04 PM Reply
It's intentionally very simple (most of my stuff is). Just a cat, a moment in time, a connection with time, that's it.

Happy to check out PLB.
[9] Scarlett 24-Mar-06/8:02 AM Reply
In this poem, I see "Monkey" - the name I gave to a kitten, found after a storm. My garden was her home and oh, she was stealth in her attack of any leaf floating by... and she could climb like a monkey, fast and furious.. and sleep with the birds in a nest (no kidding). She's an indoor cat now, but all the same hunt games in play. This is a precious poem, filled with the joy in watching the natural beauty of animals.