Re: Ago by Enkidu	4-Jun-07/2:47 PM
please, continue.....
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Jun-07/8:53 AM
interesting. took a couple of reads to understand whose perspective it was written from, but the scathing sentiment comes through either way.
Re: Never Still by Skamper	5-Jun-07/9:01 AM
line 8 - i belive you may mean to say "bear her soul away", but if you meant "bare her soul, away from land" you'd need to break the two thoughts apart (maybe with the comma). still cogitating on this one. so far i like it, but want to understand it a bit more.
Re: Never Still by Skamper	5-Jun-07/9:09 AM
also, lines 15 & 16 are a bit out of synch somehow. if the meaning is that she defies the devil's will by haunting her lover to ease his pain, you may want to pull the thoughts together by losing the dash in line 15. a period at the end of line 14 would also help, as would beginning line 15 with "the". line 16 might complete the image a bit by replacing "to etch the light" with "etching the light". like the dark sentiment; "brood" is one of my favorite dark verbs. still trying to piece together how her lover was scorned exactly, but i can dream up any number of treacheries/betrayals...
Re: "Twee" by Ranger	5-Jun-07/9:33 AM
i like the naughty and funny meaning that can be read into this.
Re: The Happy Side of Misery by Dovina	5-Jun-07/9:59 AM
moo-ving right along... i was thinking that the cyclist, distracted by an internal reverie about cows, was forgetting to keep an eye on the edge of the pavement and there is a big heavy truck that may be running them off the road. i almost felt a bit of an anticlimax at the end when the truck gets fogotten about and the rider simply keeps pedalling on. nice imagery though, agree with previous comments about the "forty shades of souther green". in fact i think the last four lines of stanza one are nice all on their own.
Re: Mouth full of Posion by VioletSuccubus	5-Jun-07/10:02 AM
almost a pimple. is there a blackhead category?
Re: Barking Bargain by Dovina	5-Jun-07/1:52 PM
I caught on immediately that you may be writing a series... are they all going to be "over-the-hill" plots, or will things change by the time the great prarie land opens before those handlebars? (not really asking for spoilers.) i agree with Ranger; this does seem a bit overstated and bulky for the subject. there are several parts that are awkward to read and follow. the closing stanza, while it is clear what the intent was, could be misread as richa pointed out. the dog did not come out for a loss, so perhaps it should read: "which loss was greater - that which he sought or that which he refused." i do look forward to more in this series and it seems you have a long road ahead if the pace that has been set stays even.
Re: Jade Milieu by Enkidu	5-Jun-07/2:49 PM
really like this one. captures the sentiment very well
Re: The Equalizer by Skamper	5-Jun-07/3:04 PM
meh. sounds like something that i read about (Philosopher's quandry or something like that): safer to believe in god just in case there is a heaven.
Re: Bitter by Ranger	7-Jun-07/3:41 PM
heh, gratz on the number one slot....
Re: 0 by MacFrantic	8-Jun-07/3:41 PM
pi
Re: Dixon Country Store, Kentucky by Dovina	11-Jun-07/9:35 AM
my favorite one so far in the series. to me, a cycling tour is a great way to see the way of life in areas like this. the pace is slow enough to allow it to sink in, slow enough to really get "done" with something before a new thing comes along to try and understand. i imagine this is the conversation you heard around you as you ate before heading out, a "fly on the wall" perspective, on the "outside looking in", etc. etc. well done. the use of "May" only 2 lines apart (lines 4 & 6) is a little distracting. I don't know if you could use a different word choice (seasonal rather than monthly) for the first reference. or maybe these are actual quotes...
Re: Dixon Country Store, Kentucky by Dovina	11-Jun-07/9:41 AM
i looked up milo seed since i was unfamiliar with it. used a lot in birdseed mixes. is it used basically as a soil enriching crop for planting the "real" crop of wheat, etc.?
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Jun-07/9:09 AM
oh most definitely a favorite.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Jun-07/9:10 AM
i think it would be more "humerus" if the bones turned to sponges instead.
Re: The Call by Skamper	12-Jun-07/9:25 AM
are you watching wheel of fortune of something? or maybe this is "the big wheel" on the price is right? dunno, it is a bit vague. a bit more power maybe in some of the action would help bring out the meaning or intensity of being forced into a decision you do not agree with. i think this has some potential.
Re: The Lover and The Rapist by Skamper	12-Jun-07/9:29 AM
not sure i really want to know what this is about... i kind of got use of internet for shopping, deflowering of a virgin, and those two don't seem to paint a nice picture.
Re: Take-Off by oneglove	12-Jun-07/9:32 AM
leaving Athens? :D i can answer the question: to go to Delphi, navel of the world.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Jun-07/9:46 AM
i think this may be trying too hard or maybe it is just the word choices: "mesmerize my words" doesnt make sense nor does that phrase coupled with the second half of the line. perhaps "memorize my words within your fettered heart". "sate of delirium"? not "state"? or "breathing in, sated with delirium"? maybe rearrange lines 3 & 4: "dreams of you entwine within my mind, entwining from time to time to the ocean of your memories" for the last line i agree with Skamper. i did not see this as so dark; more introspective. it does invoke some interesting ideas.