| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Take-Off (Free verse) by oneglove I, took a breath
And stretched wide my eyes
To the furthest ocean
In the deepest sky
The cresting waves
Curled on for days
Begging sailor, lay down with me
And in the distance mountains soared
Alabaster peaks rising high
They joined with the sun
Letting fingers run
On any surface seen
Through panes of glass
I could clearly see
Mount Olympus
and Poseidonâs sea
The sun kissed my cheek
as I wondered aloud
In a world so beautiful
Why ever come down?
Up the ladder:
Moonlit Glare
Down the ladder:
Adelaide
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.4
Posted: June 11, 2007 4:42 PM PDT; Last modified: June 11, 2007 4:42 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.166884 Overall Rank: 5029 Comments:
The comma after I is distracting. The caps at line starte are inconsistent. Otherwise good.
Oops I meant to caps all of them
You know, I'm not great on titles - in fact can be a bit random with them, but when you write with such dream-like and warm images I think your title should reflect that. It seems a little bland for what you have actually written, which is really good. I like it immensely.
106 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
i can answer the question: to go to Delphi, navel of the world.