Re: hallway by skaskowski	28-Aug-05/7:48 PM
vacumn< spelling
Re: that explains it by FreeFormFixation	28-Aug-05/7:55 PM
smile*...cute! I like this. It would help if you cleaned up the capitalization, and puncuation. At 'whistled' is not a start of a sentence, but you end with a period. I have been informed that to begin a sentence with And is okay. sucked through my nose as I slept, is not a complete sentence either. I am not very strong in puncuation usuage, but I suppose you could leave it out altogether, or get some help with it.
Re: Shoestring Salutation by MacFrantic	28-Aug-05/8:03 PM
hmmm...nice!
Re: Shoestring Salutation by MacFrantic	28-Aug-05/8:04 PM
I mean the poem...nice! (As for hallway sex, guess that depends on with whom!)
Re: Quevedo: Psalm by Sasha	28-Aug-05/8:11 PM
Wow, very cool, very timeless and timely, but is ancient feeling none-the-less. Seems to speak from past to those of now and the future...thanks for sharing!
Re: Honesty by the_poetess	28-Aug-05/8:14 PM
Hey, complete sentences; correct spelling, capitalization, and puncuation! Great format to what and how you wrote it...better than some I have seen lately...!!!
Re: The Moment of Over by Bethy	28-Aug-05/8:17 PM
friends> friend's Other than that, love the ending!
Re: untitled by LatinQueen	28-Aug-05/8:42 PM
sorry...but it needs more meat. and...each other/ two words. And you forgot the ending period, since you used them throughout.
Re: My question is...... by Annie	28-Aug-05/9:02 PM
The use of 2, for 'to' is annoying, to me. Spelling>its: it's. Why is there> Why are there. by tread> by thread. i'll> I'll (You used 'I'.) pathetic(.) Too many commas in the last stanza. Besides all that, it is a common theme that young people address in their life, and this poem is typical of the questions that rise when looking at spirituality. I would answer your last statement with: Christianity says that he did his bleeding for society...in order to save them from themselves. I would ask, what would you know or learn without the challenges, the tears, the pain? You would not know of triumph, happiness, or joy. Without hate, how would you know love? Without cold how would you know what warmth was? Should we all be saved from anything uncomfortablable or painful, when to do so would rob us of knowledge and experience? If a mother protects her child from any and ALL pains, is he prepared? Is he knowledgable, does he live a full life? No, love is not robbing her child of the right to choose, even when that choice is not best. Love is letting him make mistakes, and letting him learn and grow from them. I have been through many trials, and now looking at it all and am glad for every single one...it makes me who I am! I have a wisdom that I could not have had, had I been 'spared'. It gives me knowledge to share with ohters, it gives me a compassion that is rare in most people, it gives me a wider perspective and I can look at things with less judgement.
Re: The Trees in Spring (edit) by Sasha	28-Aug-05/9:05 PM
Strange ending, had to go back and re-read it to see how it all ties together. I love the first stanza...timeless appeal!
Re: Emily Gray by Enkidu	29-Aug-05/3:54 PM
Man... This really rocked me, hit me and moved me sideways. Putting this in my favorites. Damn.
Re: Emily Gray by Enkidu	29-Aug-05/3:58 PM
B.S....leave the hath! (Everyone is entitled to their opinion , right?) And it is NOT empty! It takes great skill to use few well-chosen words to convey big images, thoughts, or situations! The canvas was well-painted here, not too much, just enough...leaving the viewer just as he/she should be, at the sight before them. (Don't you dare change it one bit!)
Re: 8/29 by cronus	29-Aug-05/4:01 PM
(I guess so...bummer!)
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Aug-05/4:05 PM
sorry...just did absolutely nothing for me, to me, or even nearly so. Just plain...and empty. It wasn't clear enough to fully understand, it didn't go anywhere, it didn't say much of anything.
Re: Out of a White Hole by ALChemy	29-Aug-05/4:12 PM
brain's< spelling The singlualr period, in the second to last line, and then none at the end...fix that... and get rid of commas or use puncuation throughout. The transition here is uncomfortable> by subconscious gravity It flies on whimsical wings maybe would be helped with a period there? But then you start with 'it', without saying what 'it' is. I don't know...needs some work there. I like it though,; unique. So will give you a genrous vote...but would be higher with some cleaning up.
Re: Intrusion by Sasha	2-Sep-05/10:12 AM
To feel...a curse and a blessing. Do you taste your lover on the wind, feel weakened by a sickened tree, hear another's soul cry through the touch of their hand? Are you blessed and cursed with a knowing? I would have emailed you, but you do not provide that option here. One thing about the poem...creep and creek was a little rough going. >"The former river creep as a low creek." Also...wouldn't crept be the correct word?
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Sep-05/10:17 AM
Strange way to end that gull poem and scene. You used a more complete language in all but the ending. I would have put in >are mating or put> next to my shoe...Asian beetles mating. (But, I think inserting 'are' would be the better of the two.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Sep-05/10:23 AM
I like it better without the last three lines...actually, the ending stanza could be left off, and...I would have liked some reference to the statue being of a homeless man in the body of the poem; but for the title, you do not have an image in your head of what the statue is.
Re: Prick by Enkidu	2-Sep-05/10:27 AM
Yeah...this fell apart. I get what you are trying to say here...but you need to revamp it.
Re: Stranger by MacFrantic	2-Sep-05/10:32 AM
This is listed under 'Free Verse', but isn't it a form? Not that I would know all the technicalities of such things...just wondering. I don't care where you put it. Oh, and...isn't he just like everyone? I think so....