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Emily Gray (Free verse) by Enkidu Who killed Emily Gray?
In the night
Where far be found
A light to guide her?
Smoky beasts curling;
Moaning remorseful
To the pleasure of her
Dead ears and eyes.
What foe did have her
Shaking beneath herself?
Whispering dangerous in
Happy devils' cloistered homes?
Emily Gray,
Slight as she was,
With nothing so much
as vanity to defend her.
What angel,
Callous and mean,
Hath stolen away a beauty
Fairer even in degradation?
Up the ladder:
The Kings of Paradise
Down the ladder:
Oh! To be pressed against your windowpane
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.6
Posted: August 28, 2005 9:30 PM PDT; Last modified: August 28, 2005 9:30 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.190725 Overall Rank: 4706 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[6]
Sasha @ 68.49.8.49
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28-Aug-05/9:39 PM
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Reply
Feels a bit empty for something so full.
Don't use "hath" in this poem.
The rest sounds good.
Man... This really rocked me, hit me and moved me sideways. Putting this in my favorites. Damn.
B.S....leave the hath! (Everyone is entitled to their opinion , right?) And it is NOT empty! It takes great skill to use few well-chosen words to convey big images, thoughts, or situations! The canvas was well-painted here, not too much, just enough...leaving the viewer just as he/she should be, at the sight before them. (Don't you dare change it one bit!)
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