Re: I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp	2-Sep-05/10:38 AM
Ha- HA! Excellent...One thing though.. at> "Twirl around and fondle your sister, And disappear before she knew what had hit her," ...it seems a little out of rhythm right there...perhaps?> "What'd hit 'er" to speed it up some?
Re: Baudelaire: The Albatross by Sasha	2-Sep-05/10:49 AM
That is why I am a flyer of the night...the currents are not crowded then, and under the shroud of midnight-blue clouds against the blackened sky I am better felt and sensed than seen with the eye. It makes for much higher flying...besides, the breezes are so FULL then that it vibrates through you. (Lovely, lovely piece!)
Re: The Absense of God by Bluemonkey	2-Sep-05/10:51 AM
Yeah...it needs more...far more.
Re: Is This My Country? by PodPoet	2-Sep-05/10:58 AM
Very good...and so tragically true! Where was the aid to evacuate them to begin with, before it hit?! They left people there, like sitting disposable ducks! And the cost in lives, time, and the all-mighty dollar would have been far less had they sent in buses to evacuate EVERYONE who was not able to afford to leave. Now look at what it has and will cost!
Re: Falling by D. $ Fontera	2-Sep-05/11:06 AM
So true...and great way of saying it! ...In my life there is no such thing as 'destination'...only traveling, and pitstops and detours and sight-seeing - that way, no matter where I am, I am supposed to be there!
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Sep-05/11:46 AM
I admit my puncuation is/has always been my weak point. I inserted here, took out there, changed it from comma to semi-colon, etc. It is hard to always know which or what will convey the thought in cohesive segments, and which way of presenting it will best convey the way it is best read and undestood. I am always glad for comments sent. Thanks.
Re: My addict by Heather Dee	13-Sep-05/11:53 AM
I was threw.> through. I threw the ball through the window, and now I am through playing ball. 'will power' is one word, I think. willpower? will-power? (I don't know, that part of my brain just failed me..tee-hee) I think>My addict, I thought you had left me and went on your way. (A comma would be good here.) 'given into you'> given in to you. Lots of period where commas should be. Make sure where period are, that it is a complete sentence that stands on its own. (I have problems with puncuation too!)
Re: My Big Butt by Dovina	13-Sep-05/11:55 AM
are invited to kindly kiss it. Maybe would be better rhythm there? And is Pitbull one word? Pit-bull, maybe? just wondering, seems like it might be one of those. Cute poem!
Re: On the road by flatliner	13-Sep-05/11:59 AM
burn> burned... all to> just to?... i> I Not bad.
Re: to all of you by Heather Dee	13-Sep-05/12:01 PM
Well, I am gald you are feeling relieved....and glad you plan to keep trying.
Re: the birds are bugs by ay deee	13-Sep-05/12:06 PM
use some punctuation and some editing clean it up and i might even like it maybe because it is a peak into a neat thing that happened or at least it seems like that i wondered if it was about cicadas but maybe you are talking about some other bug i cant believe you thought they were birds anyway work on this poem because as you should be able to tell by now without punctuation it makes things hard to read and interpret.
Re: My Big Butt by Dovina	13-Sep-05/6:49 PM
Okay, not cute as in darling...but as in amusing in a "Yeah, my butt is big; so what?! kinda way. And...I DO get tired of big women who throw their weight around, purposefully positioning themselves in such a way as to make me move from where I was standing. It is an invasion of my body space and I resent it. I resent even more when they seemingly do not see me or think they can walk Over me, literally. It seems some bigger people fully expect a smaller person to move out of the way...and to me, that is a bullying behaviour.
Re: How Angels Smell by Dovina	28-Sep-05/12:04 PM
The last stanza didn't have the same flavour as the first two....felt it was kinda lacking there.
Re: Low Tide by somemorepoetry	18-Oct-05/11:49 AM
It starts out good, and some good stuff throughout it, but it kinda falls apart on me, in the middle...it gets all unlcear...and then the last line is cool.
Re: There is a journey tree by ALChemy	18-Oct-05/12:01 PM
Zodiac is right, about the usage of 'stands amidst' and brink/waterfall, brinks/waterfalls. but be careful of 'that ends'...alot of s's. You go from talking about the birds...(Which I think is very cool, BTW.) to talking about the tree's leaves, again. ('Its leaves'The transition there left me unclear for a second. I wonder if the bird thing would work better as the ending, that way you concentrate on the tree, then pan up to the birds above it. Some puncutation would be helpful. I like this piece...and I believe there is always a 'tree', of some sort or another, even if it is only the one I construct in my mind's eye.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Oct-05/10:46 AM
I means I...as in me the writer...you is the reader, or to whom I wrote this scene...(In either case the one sharing this scene with me.) I tried to create a walking-through scene within this. The use of I/you was to create fantasy, an illusion of it taking place...through guided imagery, if you will. I have shared this with others who have liked it quite well...am suprised bu the response here. Perhaps it is better-liked among those who like to play within fantasy's realm a bit more than most?
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Nov-05/2:49 PM
I am wondering abut the usage of waken...shouldn't that be 'awaken'? Other than that, I think it would be lovely in a children's book, with a picture.
Re: Due Consideration by Dovina	11-Dec-05/9:56 AM
Oh, didn't get my vote in...sorry!...here I was commenting without voting...oops...thought I had. I have to say all the discussion in this post has been most entertaining...and enlightening. As to my comment of cannibalism: it is not meant as a bad thing; actually taking bits and pieces, ideas, and thoughts that get started, from others, is what fuels the creative fire, so to speak. In this way we feed on others, everyone, and everything. Any writer who states he is not a parasite is a lair. We digest what we read, hear, feel, see, experience, see others experience...and then we write...from where? That depository called the brain. Can we claim everything in there as solely our own?...of course not! How many times I have delved and devoured with hunger what I found within another...with the thought a satisfaction above most others...knowing it had inspired something that I would later revel in...relishing the process of defining or painting within words! I love the challenge of creating something as rich as the situation inspired. LilMsLadyPoet...who eats with sensual relishment...then, with a flourish, licks her fingers clean afterwards!
Re: Due Consideration by Dovina	11-Dec-05/10:04 AM
An urgent whisper...remind me of one of mine> see new post...lol.
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Dec-05/10:12 AM
Okay, you may be wondering about such a post! I am wondering which one you like best...or if you like them all, or is you like what parts. Go ahead, pick at them, pick them apart, sound off...get off...whatever! Maybe list your vote score in post for which one, or leave me confused by posting a score to embrace all three, or not.