Re: muted muffability by calliope	14-Oct-05/11:59 AM
Holy cow! I hope you don't have halitosis when someone has to hear you read this to him or her.
Re: Creatures That Crawl To Me by D P Robertson	14-Oct-05/12:17 PM
Nice stab at Poe like verse but the poem goes absolutely nowhere. "Caverns of creatures crawl". One too many on the alliteration. You can get away with that more with softer sounding vowels, as in "While I wondered weak and weary". Harder sounding vowels will start to sound like tounge twisters. Good job staying true with the meter.
Re: It’s getting dark by Prince of Void	14-Oct-05/12:30 PM
Your use of fragmented sentences is obtuse. "an eye" Unless your making some obscure reference to the movie A.I. which I doubt.
Re: Cycles In Circles - Shame by D P Robertson	14-Oct-05/12:46 PM
I think we all get it. Your recycling words. Now shut up already. I'm guessing you read Poe so read his essays on composition in poetry. He'll tell you to make your point quickly and not to waste the readers time. If you write something this long it should at least tell a somewhat coherent and interesting story. You took a nice stab at it though. Actually 126 stabs.
Re: 3312 by D P Robertson	14-Oct-05/12:55 PM
verbal diarrhoea (or diarrhea to us blue collar folk) and Rainman may be things atributed to some of your other poems but not this one. Good job.
Re: monday v2 by ay deee	14-Oct-05/1:05 PM
Are you man or woman? Because I've never heard of women being drafted but on the other hand you wear a skirt. Maybe your just Scottish.
Re: Figment by Dovina	15-Oct-05/5:10 AM
I see the idea now but when I first read it, it sounded like an amateur magician.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Oct-05/4:57 AM
Because of your lack of capitals I first thought you were using "Polish" as a verb which would have made it the best line in the poem. What the hell is "pneumotic"? Maybe it too is a misspelling. Cheer up you could be named Apple or Moon Unit and those are names of white people you damn racist.
Re: Downside by Miggy	16-Oct-05/5:12 AM
Lyrics better left unread: Most early Beetles songs. Lyrics worth reading: Most later Beetles songs. I can't seem to fit your poem in either category.
Re: Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac	25-Oct-05/5:45 AM
Ironic that this is the one people seem to get. Also ironic that you recently scolded me for having strung together phrases. Love the toothless men with knives line. A little Freudian Psycho-babble for ya. Religion is in a warm vagina. You're not gonna find it in the chosen land. Atheism is in a masturbater's fist. Your religion's in alaska but your pride is in your hand. ALChemy psycho-babble: Get your ass to Alaska pronto lest thou fall amongst ye dumb morons. -10-
Re: Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac	25-Oct-05/5:54 AM
PS: Great critique and suggestions on my latest poem. I was on vacation, as you were from my constant debating.
Re: Eternity by Dovina	25-Oct-05/6:29 AM
If "But the opposite is true" refers to "It’s location location location" then bravo. If it refers to "Her condition’s going down" than BOO! It's the meat of a contradiction sandwich because you follow with -"Strength and vigor exhausted". I know you're taking what the doctors are saying out of context but it's a bit confusing. Did you write this in MS Word because all the first letters in each line are capitalized. Interesting point of view. Optimistic, no sense of dread what-so-ever.
Re: fox and hounds by nentwined	25-Oct-05/7:00 AM
Why baboon? I assume it means the fox. besides the dogs anger, who else has anger and why? The one anger actually seems to imply one out of two or more. "an anger" would be clearer. This would make a great introduction to something. Love the suggestion of rhyme in this poem.
Re: Questions by TLRufener	25-Oct-05/7:15 AM
Answer: No and nothing.
Re: Ruins by Caducus	25-Oct-05/7:36 AM
Put "I'm" at the beginning of "sculptured by architects". You've got punctuation problems in the first stanza. Some nice sentiment though.
Re: Acoustics by oneglove	27-Oct-05/8:29 AM
3rd verse is good.
Re: The cold shoulder by <~>	27-Oct-05/8:40 AM
Gives new meaning to the term "Cluster fuck". First the moon now the stars is there a term for this type of sexual preference? Cosmosexual? Celestialphile? Astro-erotica? Nice juicy stuff you're writing.
Re: Poetry is where you find it by INTRANSIT	29-Oct-05/6:02 PM
It's not very sporting of you to turn the subject of the conversation away from your poem before we get the chance to.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Oct-05/6:13 PM
"Hermanns" maybe?
Re: brave new world still a bit timid by FreeFormFixation	30-Oct-05/4:50 AM
Anne Frank's novel?! Are you saying she made all that shit up? If it's lame it can't be a standard novel, same with drivel as standardized education. Standard means acceptable. Who is neutral milk hotel and why isn't he/she or it capitalized? "a feely fraught with emptiness" is contradictory but I'm sure you'd meant to be oxymoronic. Good use of alliteration.