There are 3312 Reflectors poked between the endless white lines dashed up three lanes of this packed freeway Then a mad dog More sick of life than me Caused a four car pile up Eventually being squashed By our bus After that I lost count I know there are 3312 Reflectors After being wedged tighter than a Sultan's cushion between his majesty's gi-normous fat arsehole and a harsh reality Smeared against the grimy window Lost in a cavalcade of thoughts Dreaming I started counting 1... 2... 3... To get away from him 4... 5... 6... Droning on and on and on about himself 7... 8... 9... This would be tycoon Who could bore my cat shitless And my cat would listen to anybody If there was a faint hope of food 258... 259... On the way to a most important appointment It has to be a doctor's appointment For verbal diarrhoea I fear It is terminal 1237... Suddenly I shuddered..oh Fuck! I've turned into Rainman 1873... When the self absorbed Meet the utterly bored Nothing happens Not even a glimmer 2768... He wanted to show me his phone This is the real difference Between modern technology And a penis Men are really keen to brag Just how tiny their latest device is 3015... ...and if you want, you can video conference 3312... The bus rocked There was a gentle Almost...bump 'Sorry folks we just hit a dog' ...oh no, cried one girl Oh no Cried the Sultan's arsehole Hope it doesn't make us late... ....have I shown you this feature? 1... 2... 3... ...have I shown you the photo of my dachshund - Sausage? We called him that because... WOULD YOU FUCK OFF!!!! 1... 2... By David Peter Robertson