Vesuvius

Member since 2007 · Posted 23 Apr 2007 · 1 comment

I used to think that communism was evil. But that was back when McCarthy was just a name, Red went with blue and white, And I desperately wanted to be Chinese, So I could have straight silky hair. I think I know more now. I think I know that communism was a dream That was good. Sweet milk, in a fertile valley Curdled by our acidic reality. I think I know more. How Lenin Should be remembered a hero. How Mao turned red into evil, How Stalin was one fucked-up looney. But we thought we knew we were safe in America, We thought we would never suffer from Hiroshima, We thought nuclear weaponry was fun and amazing, But thatâs what the Greeks thought of Vesuvius.

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1 comment

[7] half.italian 24-Apr-07/1:07 AM Reply

I like alot of this, but you should work out the words a bit more in places I think. These two lines broke me from the read "How Stalin was one fucked-up looney." and "We thought nuclear weaponry was fun and amazing,"

There's always a place for a good "fuck", but it just cheapens your poem here. There are rarely good places for "fun" or "amazing" in poetry. "acidic reality" is a bit easy too.

It also doesn't come around to the punchline smoothly. Maybe another stanza before, or just flesh out the Hiromshima stanza to bring it home.

I really like:
"Red went with blue and white,
And I desperately wanted to be Chinese,"