half.italian24 Apr 2007

I like alot of this, but you should work out the words a bit more in places I think. These two lines broke me from the read "How Stalin was one fucked-up looney." and "We thought nuclear weaponry was fun and amazing,"

There's always a place for a good "fuck", but it just cheapens your poem here. There are rarely good places for "fun" or "amazing" in poetry. "acidic reality" is a bit easy too.

It also doesn't come around to the punchline smoothly. Maybe another stanza before, or just flesh out the Hiromshima stanza to bring it home.

I really like:
"Red went with blue and white,
And I desperately wanted to be Chinese,"