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Creatures That Crawl To Me (Free verse) by D P Robertson Caverns of creatures crawl over my soul
These creatures they come to me
In waves they wander
In gnawing
In snarls
In my dreams
Knotted in gnarls
Are these creatures that crawl to me
Gather your ghosts on liquid graves
Poltergeists parade for me
In waves they stumble
In horror
Insane
In my dreams
They look the same
As these creatures that crawl to me
Slithering fear of shuddering dread
Swallows my silent plea
In waves I mumble
In trouble
In fear
In my dreams
What is now here
But these creatures that crawl to me
Haunting my home these deathless dead
I wake with a start to see
In waves they gather
In seizure
In pain
In my dreams
They came and came
All these creatures that crawl to me
These creatures shred a mind long left
Shredded by those like me
In waves I wonder
In sorrow
In blood
In my dreams
Defending love
From these creatures that crawl to me
Caverns of creatures may crawl to my death
Their madness is mine you see
In waves they gather
United
In hate
In my dreams
As if by fate
Kill these creatures that crawl to me
Blazing a light on a long black coast
Seen from this coal dark sea
In waves I swallow
In water
In help
In my dreams
Choking in kelp
Drown these creatures that crawl to me
By David Peter Robertson
Up the ladder:
Euclidian Insanity
Down the ladder:
eat your dinner meats
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.75
Posted: October 13, 2005 8:12 PM PDT; Last modified: October 13, 2005 8:12 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.970199 Overall Rank: 8480 Comments:
See I thought the DP stood for Double Penetration.
A dream of redundant fears. Could be a lot shorter, but maybe you wanted to stress the recurrance.
Nice stab at Poe like verse but the poem goes absolutely nowhere.
"Caverns of creatures crawl". One too many on the alliteration. You can get away with that more with softer sounding vowels, as in "While I wondered weak and weary". Harder sounding vowels will start to sound like tounge twisters. Good job staying true with the meter. 148 view(s)
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Redeeming qualities: the line "choking in kelp" is totally excellent, as is "gather your ghosts on liquid graves".
Not good ideas: repeating the word "creatures" ad nauseam (weird, but not in a good way?) and forced-feeling line breaks throughout, especially in the last stanza, which is actually focused, but over-importantly broken up for no good reason. Edit please, but still a good 7.8 for effort. Read it 3 times in fact.