| Re: The Other by Caducus |
8-Nov-05/6:02 AM |
I think you should drop "on fridays" to help the rhythm of the poem flow better.
Feels like the melancholy you see in a lot of those indie films.
Bed tortoise: Great image.
You can really tell the wording was well thought out.
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| Re: Alone With Memories by Mona Lisa |
8-Nov-05/3:25 PM |
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| Re: Forgive Me by TLRufener |
9-Nov-05/8:02 AM |
Answer:
"Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me..."
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Nov-05/8:14 AM |
It's all about gettin' pussy for you isn't it?
Let me know if it works, I'll steal it. -9-
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| Re: phases of futility... by Bhaskaryya |
10-Nov-05/4:55 AM |
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First stanza is great. although the "..." may be over doing it a little. The other 2 stanzas aren't quite as good.
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| Re: Headlines by Dovina |
11-Nov-05/7:25 AM |
What a pathetic prophecy. I'd never see these things coming.
Try something like: Dovina and Zodiac marry after she runs over his Jetta with her truck and they see each other for the first time. On their wedding night they engage in the rare cannibalerotica in which they devour each other from the toes up until there is nothing left but their heads left. The remaining few seconds of their lives are subsequently spent bickering with each other.
Now that's a fuckin' prophecy
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| Re: The Hawk by Dovina |
12-Nov-05/4:19 PM |
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Man's greatest folly is that he's forgot how to think beyond language.
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| Re: Abba by oneglove |
13-Nov-05/9:12 PM |
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| Re: Close To The Beginning by RawPunkGirl |
13-Nov-05/9:17 PM |
Fro the 1st stanza of Billy Collins' "Nightclub":
You are so beautiful and I am a fool
to be in love with you
is a theme that keeps coming up
in songs and poems.
There seems to be no room for variation.
I have never heard anyone sing
I am so beautiful
and you are a fool to be in love with me,
even though this notion has surely
crossed the minds of women and men alike.
You are so beautiful, too bad you are a fool
is another one you don't hear.
Or, you are a fool to consider me beautiful.
That one you will never hear, guaranteed.
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| Re: Us Sinners by BrandonW |
13-Nov-05/9:22 PM |
You know where you are?
You're in the Jungle, baby.
You're gonna diiiieya.
Haiku by Axl Rose
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| Re: Math Poem 4 by Dovina |
14-Nov-05/7:59 PM |
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Sounds like a good place to be, Minus-Neverland. I wonder what the tree looks like; The one with the square root that is.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
15-Nov-05/6:51 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
15-Nov-05/6:53 AM |
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You were so proud of this you put your name on it twice.
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| Re: After Fighting (More Blood Edit) by zodiac |
15-Nov-05/12:52 PM |
"What is thy name?"...
"but Israel shall be thy name. And he called his name Israel."
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| Re: Aurora by Aetius |
16-Nov-05/7:40 AM |
Good one.
Did you know that your list of poems in your homepage form the acrostic "ASS. U C IT?
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| Re: Sienna by oneglove |
16-Nov-05/11:02 AM |
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| Re: Submission by Dovina |
17-Nov-05/7:37 AM |
Is it just for him or all of us hardware men?
You carried that metaphor all the way through like a tightrope walker. Do the 4 attitudes have different screen names? If so dare I ask for their names so I can read their poetry too. Call me a silly romantic but I really can't help but think of it as a love poem.
You inspired another little poem out of me:
It came to me one cold winters day
to take the egg out of Dovina and make DNA.
It may just be because think I actually get all of this one that I feel giddy enough to give you -10-.
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| Re: A daisy chain for Nina by Caducus |
17-Nov-05/9:10 AM |
Sweet. You drew me in with the porno title. Like I said it's sweet but would be infinately more heartwrenching and complex if she had cheated on you with Stuart Barr and then committed suicide.
If it's a true story than I apologize profusely.
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| Re: Love letter by zodiac |
17-Nov-05/9:42 AM |
I seem to hear this to the music of "Hey, hey Paula".
I see the initial story but can't help but wonder if you haven't deeply hidden one your sly metaphors into the body of this poem.
The last line is about the closest thing to a jingle I've ever seen you post. Which gives me the feeling that the dash out the door has happened more than once.
That's all I got for you so far.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Nov-05/10:06 AM |
or they get 100 virgins but the catch is they must stay that way.
Where is #1 in the series?
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