Sonnet № 133358
Close To The Beginning
I waited months to get close to your face
Hoping that night that my fream would be exposed
Being dressed in my best, clothing and lace
Twas my love for you not newly composed
Friends that surround us that new cool night
Both of us watched as they lost all senses
No matter what was to come, I would fight
All of the high feelings, we had less tenses
Our dark alleyway bought us together
I let you see how much my feelings meant
Before departing it all got better
Your heat onto mine is what you had lent
I thought it would last further than it did
But you broke my heart and I ran and hid.
5 comments
And i'm not even a stalker.
On another note:
Line 3: I think that 'Being dressed in my best...' should be changed. Keep the idea, but change the wording so it doesn't rhyme. Because it sounds horrible.
overall, though, I thought it was ok.
You are so beautiful and I am a fool
to be in love with you
is a theme that keeps coming up
in songs and poems.
There seems to be no room for variation.
I have never heard anyone sing
I am so beautiful
and you are a fool to be in love with me,
even though this notion has surely
crossed the minds of women and men alike.
You are so beautiful, too bad you are a fool
is another one you don't hear.
Or, you are a fool to consider me beautiful.
That one you will never hear, guaranteed.
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