| Re: In my heart by Birdman42s |
8-Sep-02/10:33 PM |
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the 2 last sentences sound clumsy when read together.just a suggestion"and my heart's will be forever"or any way you like to cahange it.simple and tender.
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| Re: The Battle by Birdman42s |
8-Sep-02/10:27 PM |
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(to grin,i think?)liked it7
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| Re: 7-11-02 by durk |
8-Sep-02/10:23 PM |
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Bravo!liked it very much.
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| Re: Crop Circle by Lenore |
7-Sep-02/12:00 PM |
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Esp the first stanza.(a vivid picture)8 again!
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| Re: Crop Circle by Lenore |
7-Sep-02/11:59 AM |
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Very nice the whole thing!8
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| Re: A Memory of Something Yet to Come by brazen |
7-Sep-02/11:55 AM |
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Sorry for the repetition.a mistake!
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| Re: A Memory of Something Yet to Come by brazen |
7-Sep-02/11:52 AM |
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The towering metaphor was not very original but I like the construction.the end of it moving7
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| Re: A Memory of Something Yet to Come by brazen |
7-Sep-02/11:51 AM |
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The towering metaphor was not very original but I like the construction.the end of it moving7
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| Re: Cardiovascular workout formula by abi |
7-Sep-02/7:42 AM |
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HaHaHa!your poem's word was this!(not more laugh even!just hahaha!)So 3.thanks
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| Re: Thoughtless Deed by craiggiarc1971 |
7-Sep-02/7:32 AM |
Do you mean mine was one or not?thanks
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| Re: Thoughtless Deed by craiggiarc1971 |
7-Sep-02/3:01 AM |
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"I only love"sounds better.No direct hint to the thoughtless deed.maybe intentional?It's good and could be better if your tone be more offensive and sharp towards those who have commited the deed the You only loved.I'll read it again and will give a better grade if you arrange it once more.but in its present form 5
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| Re: Perfect Love by snowing |
7-Sep-02/12:18 AM |
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| Re: Life's Great Irony by Tascobar |
6-Sep-02/7:40 AM |
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It's natural rather than Ironic(Great?)but the irony and fatalism lies in one's being called Steph and his being Deaf(The ironic rhyme of it)you meant this?Bravo!7
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| Re: Untitled #23 by Syr Charles |
6-Sep-02/4:53 AM |
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| Re: Living in Now by searching |
6-Sep-02/4:44 AM |
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Bravo!the third stanza esp was well-shaped."luxury of choice"indeed!interesting!
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| Re: Angel by nightii |
5-Sep-02/9:49 AM |
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nice!simple and to the point!(Did you have any intention in your line's division?I like to know)7
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| Re: on a climb by nonee |
5-Sep-02/8:41 AM |
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It's good but "this mountain of life" sorry,makes the whole poem look like a dead metaphor.I'm sure you can state your point in some indirect way as you have done in the rest of it.I'll wait.
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| Re: Leaf on the wind by troll454 |
5-Sep-02/8:35 AM |
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I was impressed indeed!"a leaf crossed his path and was carried on the wind,his dreams and future followed."I like to repeat it.liked it.7/10
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| Re: When by OneFingerAnswer |
4-Sep-02/11:49 PM |
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| Re: Falling by <~> |
4-Sep-02/11:42 PM |
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Much better.I like it peculiarly!
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