Re: Happy Birthday by jessicazee	21-Dec-07/11:13 AM
The Christmas timing makes me wonder and chuckle. But I think it's tender and not Christmasey, but affectionate and giving. At least that's my take on it.
Re: a comment on The Least of These by Dovina	21-Dec-07/11:09 AM
It seems my Pakistani kids struck an unwelcome note for both you and Caducus. I guess we get so many appeals this time of year that this one seems trite. Still, the words of this baby in the hay also seem trite in all their familiarity—give your tunic to the robber why just stole your cloak, and turn the other cheek, do good to those who hate you, etc. Just sounds counterproductive. Maybe it’s not, and maybe those Pakistani kids who want us dead are better won than shot. Thanks for your thoughts.
Re: Shiver by Skamper	19-Dec-07/11:53 AM
Very spare. Too spare I think. First verse is good. "creating moments" is overused, especially standing alone. "issues slick"?
Re: Whore of Babylon by oneglove	8-Dec-07/7:11 PM
Lines 3 and 4 are good. The rest, well, a work in progress.
Re: 7 Deadly Sins by forsaken	8-Dec-07/7:08 PM
Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride - Yep, you've sinned them all and deserver hellfire without possibility of parole. That's what you deserve, but because of one who already paid, you get better than you deserve if you want it. However, the sins of "your still save with me", "that bad that", and "I haven't crave in such awhile" are simply unforgivable.
Re: disregard by Skamper	4-Dec-07/2:05 PM
First 5 lines draw me in, then into what? You lose me in midstream, and at the end I wonder what I read.
Re: Day Dream by Jessina	4-Dec-07/2:00 PM
a nice attempt at old-time charm. Some of the articles and pronouns can go I think, i.e. "Where he waltz with his amazing charm" = Where he waltzes with amazing charm. With treasured violin in hand Composing blissful ardent hymns
Re: uh..huh.. by nobody	4-Dec-07/1:55 PM
too many words, too little said
Re: a comment on Engine Braking by INTRANSIT	4-Dec-07/1:41 PM
poemranker is slooooow today
Re: Engine Braking by INTRANSIT	4-Dec-07/1:40 PM
Whenever I see and hear a big-rig down-hilling with jake-brake screaming, I wonder if the driver still has ears, much less, whether he hears the wind a cooling fan makes. Maybe those things are super-sound-insulated, never been there. Tach and speed align at what? - 40mph, 4000rpm?
Re: Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT	27-Nov-07/8:58 PM
Scratch the "and" in Verse 1. I like "quarterback of the linear team." Space after the comma in Verse 3. Last line is provocative.
Re: Again with the venting by hobojo	27-Nov-07/8:54 PM
The last verse is quite good I think. It's the summation of most complaints. But we all know that "just and even" never happens.
Re: The Monogamous by Sasha	27-Nov-07/8:50 PM
I like it a lot. Would scratch the parentheses and the colon though.
Re: Missing - You by Skamper	27-Nov-07/8:43 PM
It has a good rhythm and a good subtle message. Would be nice if the Word 2 pattern continued: little, quiet, secret, . . . rain/sane rhyme seems a bit forced. Verse 2 is my favorite. The last line is disappointing and vague, seems unsupported.
Re: It's about truckin' by INTRANSIT	15-Nov-07/7:58 AM
Good. Sounds real, as if you actually believe it. "having" in verse 2 sounds weak.
Re: AKA Poets by Skamper	15-Nov-07/7:54 AM
This sounds vaguely familiar. Maybe it is adapted from Billy Collins as the 18-wheeling poet suggests. Haven't time to look. If not, you get an unabashed 10.
Re: Turning British by INTRANSIT	10-Nov-07/5:34 PM
Ok, lets see if we can DA and SR outa the pub long enough to declare it all false. I doubt if they sing any version of Amazing Grace.
Re: Some poems by INTRANSIT	4-Nov-07/5:42 PM
Yeah, got a few stuck the tubes. Prefer a more descriptive title; I mean describing the good ones in some cute way. Like it a lot.
Re: a comment on Dulacca - for a day by Skamper	2-Nov-07/3:36 PM
cool
Re: a comment on Voice of the World by Dovina	2-Nov-07/3:34 PM
not an unexpected source, really, just a bunch of people like us, who have got the shaft for a long time and just might have something to teach. Yep, I did fade away in the second verse; just can't quite get the questions together.