Re: a comment on A Righteous Prayer by Dovina	25-Jun-05/6:56 AM
As I was saying, the grammar is not bad in my opinion. In poetry, we often make the grammar awkward for the sake of ryythm or flow. May I ask why you have brought up bad grammar? More importantly, your first comment shows that you do not know what this is about.
Re: a comment on A Righteous Prayer by Dovina	24-Jun-05/7:49 PM
It's about the way I ask.
Re: a comment on Last Night by Roisin	24-Jun-05/9:22 AM
A jumper is a dress, designed to "jump" over a blouse.
Re: a comment on A Righteous Prayer by Dovina	24-Jun-05/9:14 AM
I think the grammar issue goes back to our disagreement on punctuation. I omit commas at the ends of lines, thinking a pause is inferred there, where you say they are needed. See how these sentences look grammically when the inferred commas are added. "Grant now my petitions, for which I make claim." "I bring humbly before You all those lofty ideals I’ve kept, with passion for religion, as tools for advancement." "As Your Word admonishes, I now beseech, ..." Granted, the grammar is a bit awkward for prose, but for poetry, I think it's acceptable.
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	24-Jun-05/8:39 AM
Yes, it can be taken that way, and to some degree I intend it so in order to jar people. The fact that they dispute having an unchangable and ugly core is a step in the right direction.
Re: a comment on Sandia Plain by Dovina	24-Jun-05/8:34 AM
My first "sentence" has no verb. It's just a series of descriptive phrases, designed to set a scene. The others are, as you say, a bunch of phrases with a verb, maybe boring, but defendabled as prose.
Re: How Well I See by Blue Magpie	24-Jun-05/5:45 AM
It's difficult to handle an issue like this effectively in a form like this, but I think you've done well.
Re: a comment on Drama by QuirkyWonder	23-Jun-05/7:17 PM
But good poetry about drama is. :-)
Re: Mountain Gorillas by Blue Magpie	23-Jun-05/7:15 PM
It seems the title is wrong because it's about her, what she did.
Re: Drama by QuirkyWonder	23-Jun-05/7:11 PM
Could be said in half the words and be stronger.
Re: Yard Birds by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	23-Jun-05/6:39 PM
Not so for the egg this bird will someday lay, but we all say that is some way. Peck, peck.
Re: Family by Sunshine Conkey	23-Jun-05/6:31 PM
Good adult story too. The rhythm is so good in most of it that those lines that break it really stand out. For example, "Later that day, cooking the evening meal," leave out "evening."
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	23-Jun-05/11:16 AM
Whatever the “core” of a man is, it is something that you and I are defining differently, perhaps reflecting a basic difference in our views of human nature. You say it’s unchangeable; I say the mind has power over it to change it. By noticing the symptoms of a bitter core in early old-age, a man or a woman can take action. I believe we change the way old age is spent. The key is look at one’s self, to be aware.
Re: a comment on Sandia Plain by Dovina	23-Jun-05/11:01 AM
2) But my sentences have so many words, so many subordinate clauses, so many look-alike elements, so orderly, so neat, so rational, so boring.
Re: a comment on Sandia Plain by Dovina	22-Jun-05/10:32 AM
Sun-dried mud bricks is a synonym, but too long. Yes, it's a documentory. I'd hoped it would also sound poetic, but I guess it doesn't.
Re: a comment on Sandia Plain by Dovina	22-Jun-05/10:29 AM
The Sandia Plain is a fictitious name for the desert lying west of the Sandia Mountains in New Mexico, east of the Rio Grande.
Re: on passing through some small town by Dental Panic	21-Jun-05/7:20 PM
Much better. I wonder why just some of the sentences begin with capitals.
Re: Rise (incomplete) by Miracle	21-Jun-05/9:56 AM
I'm not sure you know exactly what you want to say.
Re: Wash by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	21-Jun-05/9:53 AM
"woven plants hung on my body to cover the base creature I claim not to be" - Good line.
Re: a comment on Eulogy for a Poet by Dovina	21-Jun-05/9:36 AM
That's a very kind and generous offer, but I try to avoid such goings-on with married men.