Re: a comment on The Object of the Game by Dovina	29-Jun-05/8:21 AM
Thanks for the comments: I’ll certainly give it thought. And welcome back. I know you were never gone, leaving glimpses of yourself here and there, like a ghost watching over us. It’s good to see you in full frontal poeticy.
Re: a comment on -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	28-Jun-05/4:19 PM
I'm not suggesting another word. Desecration is good. It's just that it needs to be either "desecrations abound" or "desecration abounds."
Re: a comment on The Object of the Game by Dovina	28-Jun-05/4:15 PM
I’m all ablush! What you ask seems much harder, but I’ll think on it.
Re: a comment on The Object of the Game by Dovina	28-Jun-05/12:32 PM
Thanks, Darby
Re: a comment on The Object of the Game by Dovina	28-Jun-05/12:32 PM
You’re asking for psychological answers as though you have training. My viewpoint is mere experience as one of the hurt. His ears seem so deaf to what so many have said, that I wonder if he really prefers his sorrow and finds comfort in it.
Re: fireflies die too by hendrimike	28-Jun-05/10:42 AM
I like the flow and feel of this, but it has glitches and cliches, like "jubilent joy" and "what the world learned."
Re: The blue rose by Mona Lisa	28-Jun-05/10:33 AM
Perhaps a prose poem, but not even that. It's a short story, and not a bad one.
Re: RAGGED TIME MELODY by Joshua_Tree	28-Jun-05/10:22 AM
A song with bad words, tune, and beat is a bad song. Let's hope you're singing a good song about a bad song.
Re: WHAT KIND OF FOOL ARE YOU? by Joshua_Tree	28-Jun-05/10:17 AM
Provoking, and therefore good. I think the fools in Verse 3 are most to be pitied. The last line of verse 1 seems like it should say something like "Then finding . . ." Verse 4, line 2 seems wrong or unnecessary.
Re: a comment on The Object of the Game by Dovina	28-Jun-05/10:08 AM
Thanks, Joshua, that’s good criticism. I’ve tried, in the edit, to make the ending stronger.
Re: a comment on The Object of the Game by Dovina	28-Jun-05/10:08 AM
Agreed. See edit.
Re: a comment on The Object of the Game by Dovina	28-Jun-05/10:08 AM
I agree on overuse of “hurt.” See edit.
Re: To Whom I Have Not Long Written by MacFrantic	27-Jun-05/9:12 PM
The opening line is off-putting because of the obvious answer.
Re: The Edge Of The World by kingfisher	27-Jun-05/1:14 PM
I can see the picture, "the end of the globe," but could have seen it more clearly and forcefully with fewer words. "numinous sight to be seen," for example, could be "numinous sight." and "to disappear into oblivion" is the same as to disappear. "Seemed" is misspelled. Metanoia? The ending could be made better, I think, that is if I see what you mean.
Re: The Intellect Repeats by Blue Magpie	27-Jun-05/12:58 PM
It's hard to do a treatise in a villanelle. Stories work better. Here, I think that for the sake of form, you have diminished the value of intellect way too much.
Re: We Have Never Spoken by fevriere	27-Jun-05/12:54 PM
I seems you're describing old age, not in years, but attitude. Then I come the lead piping and don't see how that relates. I like verse 2. Then in verse 3, the lesson seems forgotten. I think it's a glimps that might stick with the two youngun's
Re: a comment on A Righteous Prayer by Dovina	27-Jun-05/11:47 AM
I would not say these things in ordinary conversation. But as you should have realized, this is a prayer and uses the language of prayer. But it's not an ordinary prayer, rather a use of prayer language to say things that would not be properly understood if said in the language of conversation. I don't want to spill the whole thing, but try to look at it from the viewpoint of someone who truly prays, and compare what this poem is saying to what such a person might pray, using only slight variations in wording.
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	27-Jun-05/11:40 AM
As I tried to make you see earlier, this is not about what you say it is. Rahter it's about my use of the word "core" and the various menaings people have attached to it. Since the word is not defined in the way any of us are using it, it's not surprising to find many interpretations. That's a long way from saying "offensive untrue things about people." Are you now returning to your old offensive, word-twisting self?
Re: Submit by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	25-Jun-05/7:23 AM
"ears peaking through hair softer than a night in Wales on the Irish Sea." The good stuff of love poems. If only the rest matched it.
Re: FAT BALLET- PAS DE DEUX by andrew barnes	25-Jun-05/7:16 AM
Good, except for long-limbed pulley.