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fireflies die too (Free verse) by hendrimike
and in this worthless day i spent alone we all sat forward watching the spin earth revolving round the radar screen floating up and out of here again sitting back and wonderin' what the world learned back when the day was young and things were fresh when an idea came to us all quite clean the day has been long and night is banging down the hatch and i just need to rest my back and look around in the darkness thinking of tomorrow and all its hope when girls can still be a dream they all dance and laugh with jubilent glee and everyone is happy waking up trying your best with what you have is a complicated test

Up the ladder: debating
Down the ladder: listen

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.6
Weighted score: 5.0715218
Overall Rank: 6593
Posted: June 4, 2005 2:53 PM PDT; Last modified: June 27, 2005 9:51 PM PDT
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Comments:
[9] zodiac @ 194.165.132.42 | 6-Jun-05/6:06 AM | Reply
its hope. No apostrophe.
[n/a] hendrimike @ 70.106.122.122 > zodiac | 27-Jun-05/9:54 PM | Reply
thanks...wasn't sure
[6] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 28-Jun-05/10:42 AM | Reply
I like the flow and feel of this, but it has glitches and cliches, like "jubilent joy" and "what the world learned."
223 view(s)




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