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The Intellect Repeats (Villanelle) by Blue Magpie
The intellect so often just repeats, lines written while the higher mind’s asleep. The spirit likes to play with thoughts it meets, to lure them out across life’s clean white sheets until they find a rhythm they can keep. The intellect so often just repeats the good, the bad, the tricksters and the treats, ‘til I, in thinking of it, wish to weep. The spirit likes to play with thoughts it meets, to dance with them on crowded city streets or climb up mountain pathways harsh and steep. The intellect so often just repeats, in cinemas, to cold and empty seats, the thoughts good poets never thought to keep. The spirit likes to play with thoughts it meets to urge them on to brave and daring feats, such thoughts, as are by this made wise and deep, the intellect so often just repeats. The spirit likes to play with thoughts it meets.

Down the ladder: Sunday Legs

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.6666665
Weighted score: 5.4482355
Overall Rank: 2967
Posted: June 26, 2005 10:33 PM PDT; Last modified: June 26, 2005 10:33 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 69.231.22.69 | 27-Jun-05/12:23 AM | Reply
villanelles are hard work. I even had to look up how to write a villanelle to check to see if you wrote a villanelle. Which you did. Yikes.
[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.111 > Bankrupt_Word_Clerk | 27-Jun-05/7:51 PM | Reply
You mean you really didn't notice that the previous poem I posted was a villanelle as well? Oh dear.
[8] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 69.231.29.36 > Blue Magpie | 28-Jun-05/12:58 AM | Reply
NO, I really didn't notice. Too caught up in myself, I suppose. But I noticed this one, and liked it more.
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 27-Jun-05/2:17 AM | Reply
I like this one. Rapped from between clenched teeth.

>>such thoughts, as are by this made wise and deep<<
The only line that made me stagger. Literally, I mean. The grammar seems rather forced to me.
[6] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 27-Jun-05/12:58 PM | Reply
It's hard to do a treatise in a villanelle. Stories work better. Here, I think that for the sake of form, you have diminished the value of intellect way too much.
[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.111 > Dovina | 27-Jun-05/7:55 PM | Reply
You are quite probably correct, albeit it does to some extent depend on whose intellect is under discussion. How about
The conscious mind ...............
or
The villanelle ....................

It has been reworked a bit, I will look up the older ideas when I don't have to be somewhere at 6.30am (which is half an hour away.
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