Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	21-Jun-05/9:33 AM
Your regular therapist is not in today, so let me try. Don't avoid it. Look at it. No thanks needed. See my secretary on your way out.
Re: Flicking by INTRANSIT	20-Jun-05/5:42 PM
In the place I used to work we built spirals into the plans - those transitions to real curves wherein the wheel can easily adjust by a half-stoned arm, and after several such easings, drivers become chicaned to expect them. Just thought you'd like to know who to blame and how ironic the victory.
Re: a comment on The tender side. by darby pyn	20-Jun-05/12:42 PM
OK, I'll try again, but you're dealing with a hard-nosed realist. (Glad you liked Unclean.) The first sentence is so difficult that you might want to put it later in the poem. Try starting with the third and fourth sentences because they flow well and give clues to your theme. The idea of channeling, balanced with ghost is good. The plagiarism phrase is grating and confusing.
Re: Being Alone by Sunshine Conkey	20-Jun-05/12:10 PM
It would be better without the first verse.
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	20-Jun-05/12:02 PM
Agreed. But I think that in poetry it's better to show the thing with a story or a description, such as I tried to do in describing this man.
Re: a comment on Eulogy for a Poet by Dovina	20-Jun-05/11:43 AM
I tend to agree that a poem that is well received at a coffee shop reading is not usually a good poem on close examination. There are performance poems and there are contempation poems. On rare occasion a poem is both.
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	20-Jun-05/11:39 AM
Wouldn't that make it even more didactic?
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	20-Jun-05/11:38 AM
I have been around enough bitter old men to believe that the condition is not a small minority. It's a major concern, or should be, for all men as they age, and women too. The point of this poem is to arouse awareness, so that any aging man who observes himself becoming bitter, can realize that he is falling into a trap, and that he has options.
Re: The tender side. by darby pyn	19-Jun-05/9:15 PM
Doesn't make sense.
Re: The And women by INTRANSIT	19-Jun-05/9:13 PM
Oh, but we are meant to be understood in our subtitles of language as we drag accross your eyes with pearls meant only to adorn.
Re: a comment on This or That by sacred_poet_me	19-Jun-05/8:59 PM
No, he would for 100 years, but she always kicks him out.
Re: a comment on Diary of sorrow.... by dantron	19-Jun-05/8:54 PM
Too generous on his, about right on yours.
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	19-Jun-05/8:51 PM
I doubt that, really. Head-in-sand is not your style. Or maybe you disagree with it.
Re: a comment on Kiss Me by smiffy84	19-Jun-05/7:41 PM
You're a funny man.
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	19-Jun-05/7:36 PM
I think "worrying about dying" is often at the core of the trap, and synicism is often its symptom.
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	19-Jun-05/7:24 PM
I think it's a tendency for men and women to get cynical and bitter as they age. I think it's an avoidable trap, and avoiding it leads to a happier old age.
Re: a comment on Father’s Day by Dovina	19-Jun-05/7:22 PM
You are right in saying that many old men do not meet this stereotype. Many avoid the trap of becoming bitter and critical as they age.
Re: Nonsense POEM #14687 by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	19-Jun-05/7:19 PM
As written, it's more story than poem.
Re: All in Love by gothiclovepoetiss	19-Jun-05/7:16 PM
Not a limerick.
Re: White Stork by Blue Magpie	19-Jun-05/7:11 PM
Storks are elegant birds, and lore's attached significance makes them seem more elegant; but your point gets lost in the form and even reduces them to "simple" bird.