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Family (Free verse) by Sunshine Conkey
I ran into a stranger as he passed by, "Oh excuse me please" was my reply. He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you." We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said good-bye. But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old. Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still. When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown. He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken. While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said, "While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, But the family you love, you seem to abuse. Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door. Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue. He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes." By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall. I quietly went and knelt by his bed; "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said. "Are these the flowers you picked for me?" He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree. I picked 'em because they're pretty like you. I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue." I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way." He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway." I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

Up the ladder: Post-mortem bordem

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.1666665
Weighted score: 5.5827065
Overall Rank: 2370
Posted: June 23, 2005 6:33 AM PDT; Last modified: June 23, 2005 6:33 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 23-Jun-05/6:31 PM | Reply
Good adult story too. The rhythm is so good in most of it that those lines that break it really stand out. For example, "Later that day, cooking the evening meal," leave out "evening."
[7] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.47 | 23-Jun-05/11:42 PM | Reply
'common courtesy you use' transposed verbs are really a sign that the poet hasn't put in the required effort, as BWC said a few poems up, it makes one of Yoda think.
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.19.91 | 24-Jun-05/6:56 AM | Reply
Do you think if you were more polite to your sons, they'd stop being self-obsessed Neo-Nazis?
[n/a] Sunshine Conkey @ 216.67.193.198 | 24-Jun-05/8:01 AM | Reply
All 4 of my sons are wonderful. The oldest is 21 and has been in IRAQ since March, the youngest is 10.
They have done & will do things that I don't agree with just as I have done things that they don't agree with, bu I have never called them "self-obsessed Neo-Nazis"
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.19.91 > Sunshine Conkey | 26-Jun-05/2:21 AM | Reply
Sorry if I've gotten you wrong. There are two users running around this site calling you mom. Their poem-pages are here http://www.poemranker.com/user-browse.jsp?id=53851 and here http://www.poemranker.com/user-browse.jsp?id=53506.

One of their poems starts "I killed a little boy to dance in his blood". Another goes "Some times I wonder If theres any hope For someone with so much HATE." There also used to be one about worshipping Hitler and killing Jews, but it's apparently been deleted.

I sincerely hope your son in Iraq is doing okay. I live next door in the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan and think about the kids over there daily.
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