Re: A World At War by Damien	8-Jul-05/10:30 AM
Too many words, and not carefully chosen. "safely wallowing in safety" for example.
Re: a comment on Almost Persuaded by Dovina	8-Jul-05/10:27 AM
Then what do you think it's about, if not sex?
Re: Lover by Dental Panic	8-Jul-05/10:26 AM
Why continue in verse 3 with the bus? It seems to cloud a good start. And the break between verses 1 and 2 seems wrong.
Re: sprung by <~>	8-Jul-05/10:22 AM
"the sorrow of an uncaged regret" good line. But to spring aloft on the wings of others with uncaged regrets seems counter to your theme, though quite poetic.
Re: Pandemic’s Here Again by Lenore	8-Jul-05/10:17 AM
If you refer to the London attacks, there's no need to tell the world; they know. If you mean that the world reacts too slowly, then I say we react fast enough, just with impotence.
Re: a comment on Almost Persuaded by Dovina	8-Jul-05/10:12 AM
Do you infer sexual desire even in this? Is everything you read a symbol of physical placement within some canal – birth or excretion? I’m not angry. It’s just pathetically humorous.
Re: Autumn by keatsImnot	7-Jul-05/2:42 PM
I'd like to see more than just a description of autumn.
Re: London Calling by Bluemonkey	7-Jul-05/2:40 PM
Good except for "twisted game of evolution."
Re: Precious Smile by TLRufener	7-Jul-05/2:36 PM
Should end with "Lock up everything that is real" A lot of repeated ideas, but the theme is good.
Re: Damned by darby pyn	7-Jul-05/2:33 PM
paralax stutters a beautiful disguise interaction is a pendulum These are the good lines in my opinion.
Re: a comment on Born and Fed by Dovina	7-Jul-05/1:19 PM
Nothing I can see makes a calf run and jump right after he’s born and fed, other than fun. Maybe he has some other concern, but it’s not evident. When you say, “The thing that concerns me is having fun,” how is that different?
Re: a comment on Born and Fed by Dovina	7-Jul-05/1:18 PM
I presume you mean the meter is wrong. Surely, finding a tit is top priority for the calf.
Re: I Need Not be Told by Chelsio	5-Jul-05/2:08 PM
Such a common theme in young writers, so common that to do it well in a poem may me impossible. At the least it would take a fresh approach, which this is not.
Re: The Bastardization of Hypocrisy by Bluemonkey	5-Jul-05/1:36 PM
Wasn't hypocracy always a bastard kind of thing?
Re: The And women by INTRANSIT	5-Jul-05/1:34 PM
I'm not getting what the last 4 lines have to do with it. We always bless the annuals that send the gardeners transplanting.
Re: a comment on Mother Earth by TLRufener	5-Jul-05/1:26 PM
So, what's new or differently expressed? That's well known.
Re: a comment on The taste of something new. by darby pyn	5-Jul-05/1:24 PM
When you say you are transparent as vanity, it could imply that you are vain, or it could mean that you are transparent, but not necessarily vain. The last line seems to say you are vain, as in having other women.
Re: a comment on Born and Fed by Dovina	5-Jul-05/8:37 AM
Who is G/W?
Re: Mother Earth by TLRufener	5-Jul-05/8:23 AM
I don't see any point to this beyond a description.
Re: pop by Dental Panic	5-Jul-05/8:20 AM
I really don't care what is pop and what is not, but I like the way you've made an issue of it.