Re: Ursa's Tail by bamf909	12-Jul-05/9:55 AM
The first three lines are good, then the image seems to break down.
Re: a comment on Happy Charlene by Dovina	11-Jul-05/7:58 PM
no prob, I do that half the time.
Re: a comment on Happy Charlene by Dovina	11-Jul-05/7:50 PM
Maybe there is a world where all is wonderful. She sees this world that way, and to her, it is.
Re: a comment on Happy Charlene by Dovina	11-Jul-05/7:40 PM
Thanks for clearing that up.
Re: a comment on Endurance by Dovina	11-Jul-05/1:28 PM
Yes, I had something in mind, but to spill it out defeats the purpose of implying it in a subtle way, hoping the reader will see what I mean. Still, I don't mind if you see something entirely different. Look at BlueMonkey's recent poem for an example of this.
Re: a comment on Al-Qaida Blues by Bluemonkey	11-Jul-05/11:51 AM
I'm assuming that because of the title, you are talking about an Arab teen with explosives taped around his stomach.
Re: Al-Qaida Blues by Bluemonkey	11-Jul-05/11:47 AM
Who can say what they feel? I think this might sum it up as well as any. Might want to capitalize You.
Re: a.m. by oneglove	11-Jul-05/11:41 AM
Are you that afraid of dreams? My father was.
Re: When my place is placeless by Prince of Void	11-Jul-05/11:30 AM
The first two lines get off to an irritating start because they imply a connection that is not there or not developed. You have not started from where the reader is.
Re: Flies in the ointment. by darby pyn	11-Jul-05/11:27 AM
discarded plankton? What's that, and how is it related to a well? Her head held low in the ointment follows the title, but the rest of the images don't seem to work.
Re: a comment on Endurance by Dovina	11-Jul-05/11:17 AM
In what way is it not good? Please do not spare my tender feelings in your answer. I listen to all comments, and believe it or not, incorporate many of them. Here I have not done the things you usually find offensive - preaching, explaining, using funny grammar. So, what?
Re: a comment on Almost Persuaded by Dovina	11-Jul-05/11:10 AM
Some of the unpredictably fascinating aspects of your comments are the “connections” you make and don’t make. The world spins today just as it has for a long, long time. Its spinning follows the principle of uniformity, manifested in the laws of physics. How you find the former to be positive and the latter negative is beyond my imagination. But many things about your deductions defy my imagination. Like your recent comment to rbooey: “You're about to suggest Dovina and I are in some buddy-buddy poemranker-dissing incrowd. . . . For your information, no two people dislike each other more than Dovina and I dislike each other.” I think you exaggerate in statements like that for the pleasure of controversy. Please don’t tell me you mean exactly what you said. Your question: “Does it take more work to keep an already-spinning world spinning or to stop it?” It takes no work (as defined in physics) to keep the world spinning, but it takes a lot of work to stop it. (Sorry, no diagrams or charts.) The interesting thing in regard to being almost persuaded to believe in God is that the laws of physics are uniform, unchanging, as if planned. It’s enough to make a person wonder. Thanks for the comment.
Re: a comment on Endurance by Dovina	9-Jul-05/4:45 PM
Not so private raelly. Paper birds are made by folding paper. They don't really sing or smile but they could have words written on them in a singing or smiling voice, perhaps a wrong sentence, an intended song that instead scratched his neck, who knows?
Re: Lover by Dental Panic	9-Jul-05/4:36 PM
It's better now, clearer. Still, the timing of your posting and the tube, river, therain and all implies the London bombings. Then why is it called Lover? And why is it bad luck that he was not on the train that was bombed? Maybe he avoided the train disaster only to get on the bus to be blown up. It's not clear.
Re: a comment on JUST A FEW by rbooey	9-Jul-05/10:55 AM
Not when you say what you don't mean and write everything in big letters as if it's more important that way. Mum has to be a name for your mother, and after rambling repeatatively, using three times as many words as needed, about how you miss her, then in the last line you say about your mother, "He's taken from my life. Geeeeees!
Re: a comment on Almost Persuaded by Dovina	9-Jul-05/10:36 AM
"ambling"? I almost said, “someone’s ambling.” But that makes it sound too much like belief in God. The idea is to show a person who is almost persuaded to believe in God. And in a way, Gen. Patton calmly surveying the battlefield is a good image for God – calm, in control, confident. Thanks for the comment.
Re: JUST A FEW by rbooey	8-Jul-05/9:05 PM
I thought I knew who MUM was until the end. Weird.
Re: a comment on Pandemic’s Here Again by Lenore	8-Jul-05/1:49 PM
Interesting.
Re: a comment on Almost Persuaded by Dovina	8-Jul-05/11:10 AM
It's not political, except as belief in a higher power is. The vagueness is intentional, because the narator is questioning his beliefs, wondering if something more is in charge.
Re: a comment on Pandemic’s Here Again by Lenore	8-Jul-05/10:59 AM
Then pandemic is not here yet, and the first line needs help.