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JUST A FEW (Free verse) by rbooey I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW AT ALL
OR HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CLUE
EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEANT TO ME
I ONLY HOPE YOU KNEW
THAT SO MUCH, I DID LOVE YOU MUM
AND SO MUCH,I DID CARE
AND NOW MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU HERE
IS JUST TOO HARD TO BARE
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR TIME HAS COME
THAT GOD HAS CALLED YOUR NAME
I'M DEVESTATED,SO ALONE
MY LIFE WON'T BE THE SAME
I DON'T WAKE UP AND SMILE NO MORE
INSTEAD ALL THAT I FEEL
IS LONELINESS,AN EMPTY HEART
THAT I KNOW TIME WON'T HEAL
BECAUSE THERE COULD NOT EVER BE
SOMEBODY JUST LIKE YOU
WHO MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD INSIDE
AND LOVED THE WAY YOU DO
I CAN'T ACCEPT IT,THAT YOU'VE GONE
I WON'T ACCEPT IT'S REAL
BECAUSE THIS CAN'T BE FAIR, OR RIGHT
TO CAUSE MY HEART TO FEEL
AS THOUGH IT'S JUST BEEN TORN APART
CLEAN BROKEN UP IN TWO
BECAUSE HE'S TAKEN FROM MY LIFE
THE ONLY MUM I KNEW.
Up the ladder:
What's that again?
Down the ladder:
Some comfort
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 1.5714285
Posted: July 8, 2005 5:34 PM PDT; Last modified: July 8, 2005 5:34 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.077915 Overall Rank: 13327 Comments:
[5]
Dovina @ 69.175.32.185
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8-Jul-05/9:05 PM
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Reply
I thought I knew who MUM was until the end. Weird.
[n/a]
rbooey @ 82.42.64.158
> Dovina
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9-Jul-05/4:14 AM
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Reply
it dosn't take much to lose you ,does it.
[5]
Dovina @ 69.175.32.185
> rbooey
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9-Jul-05/10:55 AM
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Reply
Not when you say what you don't mean and write everything in big letters as if it's more important that way. Mum has to be a name for your mother, and after rambling repeatatively, using three times as many words as needed, about how you miss her, then in the last line you say about your mother, "He's taken from my life. Geeeeees!
[n/a]
rbooey @ 82.42.64.158
> Dovina
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9-Jul-05/11:23 AM
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Reply
how petty do you want to be,who cares if the letters are big or small ,you're probably the only one who has noticed,you nasty,nitpicking little shit.
[0]
Bluemonkey @ 170.141.68.99
> rbooey
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11-Jul-05/6:28 AM
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Reply
Actually, i noticed too...and to be honest with you, it's quite annoying.
I could give my opinion but the only opinion that matters about this poem is your MUM's. And if somewhere out there she say's it's GREAT then who the hell am I to argue.
Please refer to my reply to your comment on the suggestions page for my reason for giving this a 0.
ouch.
If you actually mean any of this, know that it is a very poor tribute. Which is not to be ashamed of--probably most tributes are poor. But if you do actually mean any of it, consider trying to improve it--or just move on.
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