Re: Twilight on the Roadside by ALChemy	22-Jul-05/8:29 AM
A good story, needing less story and more poetry, or else just tell it as a story. 'desaturated' may not be the right word. 'I was' in verse 3 can go. (That image burned into my heart)- Best, I think, to show how you feel rather than tell us.
Re: a comment on A Good Man Ruined by Dovina	22-Jul-05/8:22 AM
"then promoted and monied he runs a team" is clearer, might do that. The 'damn' is shakey, I know. I never thought of it as being about God, but in a way it works if you think of it as man created in God's image as creator. Thanks for the comment.
Re: a comment on A Good Man Ruined by Dovina	22-Jul-05/8:19 AM
Awesome in the way the World Trade Center was, or the Golden Gate Bridge is. How do you mean - another go? More detail?
Re: a comment on A Good Man Ruined by Dovina	22-Jul-05/8:17 AM
Could be, but then it would end up a drinking man's crying song. Somehow, we have enough of those.
Re: a comment on Low Tide by somemorepoetry	22-Jul-05/8:12 AM
I mean it in terms of the imagery and the structure. You have a good flow in the first 2 verses, easily to follow and relate to. Than you try to get the reader into a stick, bucked, etc., and the image is not as vivid and easy flowing as the first. Not that it couldn't be, because the theme is good. It's just not as smooth.
Re: a comment on A Good Man Ruined by Dovina	22-Jul-05/8:05 AM
It's not that I consider his statement wise. I used it a different way than he did, and thought doing so was entirely cute.
Re: a comment on A Good Man Ruined by Dovina	20-Jul-05/1:29 AM
I knew that, and decided to use it anyway.
Re: a comment on A Good Man Ruined by Dovina	18-Jul-05/8:04 AM
It's always desirable to draw attention to your own lonliness. So like a poet he is. Maybe some teenager will read his words scratched on the stud of that wall he's building and say in some distant century, there went a man I can understand, and post it on poemranker.
Re: she sits back and judges me by hendrimike	18-Jul-05/6:15 AM
an angry rant, nothing more.
Re: Distracted by pletcgm	18-Jul-05/6:13 AM
Starts off well enough, but is too simply said toward the end.
Re: Low Tide by somemorepoetry	18-Jul-05/6:12 AM
The first 2 verses are good, then it wanders like a beach comber.
Re: a comment on Almost Persuaded by Dovina	17-Jul-05/3:17 PM
I think we have a basic difference of belief about physics. I believe it follows LAWS, which are true whether anybody knows what they are or not. The current statements, which we call the laws of physics, may change, but I don't think the LAWS change. I believe this because so many things are constant and predictible that many other things must be also. It's called probability. It's not moot really, and some other things about physics seem chaotic, challenging my belief. Again, answer, if you desire, what or who made these consistencies I prefer to call LAWS?
Re: a comment on Almost Persuaded by Dovina	16-Jul-05/7:16 AM
The world wobbles on its axis due to precession the same as a gyroscope does. Look up "uniformitarianism" or "principle of uniformity" before you say it doesn't exist. Stuff happens as it has happened - that's the gist of it. Your third paragraph is hogwash! Uniformity is not negative, as you yourself have implied in DISCUSSION TOPIC FOR THE DAY. Para 4: Uniformitarians will agree with you. Theists might wonder if God has a hand in it. DISCUSSION TOPIC FOR THE DAY: Who or what made the laws of physics? I'd answer yours, but it's one of those what-if questions that's, as you say, is moot.
Re: the smallest box will do by elderking	16-Jul-05/7:11 AM
Smll package. Don't they seem trivial after awhile? Movin' on is what it's about. Good.
Re: Let the Healing Begin by http://bandgeek	16-Jul-05/7:08 AM
Talk about a rut! And pretty well told.
Re: a comment on Happy Charlene by Dovina	14-Jul-05/5:11 PM
I think she's misled, but happy, so why does it matter?
Re: There she is! by CarterTribe	12-Jul-05/1:12 PM
It seems like an honest, though not very poetically written, sentiment that women should try to understand. We often play with the emotions of men, not realizing how deep they are, and it isn't nice. The lines about "That stupid, nasty,evil h**" and "now the final score’s been set," are disturbing, and I hope you don't really mean them.
Re: a comment on Happy Charlene by Dovina	12-Jul-05/10:17 AM
I don’t how it’s serrated, but sedated – alright. That’s what booze and drugs are about, and mind trips like Charlene’s.
Re: a comment on Endurance by Dovina	12-Jul-05/10:13 AM
I'll admit it's more vague and subject to interpretation than most of mine. Your gut is as good as mine.
Re: a comment on Almost Persuaded by Dovina	12-Jul-05/10:11 AM
We drool because we smell the scent of knowing what the universe is all about. We feel close to tasting its essence, but can’t quite understand.