regarding some deleted poem...	26-Oct-04/10:42 AM
The last line tells more than needed. A long and wordy story, but pleasing in a fairytale way.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Oct-04/5:59 PM
Da's 10-vote either means he loves it and his comment oxymononic, or it means he hates it and his vote is to keep you off the Worst List, or he thinks 0 is higher than 10.
Re: Alone by rrashi	27-Oct-04/1:40 PM
Beware of the ten-vote and the opposite comment. Too many commas. "Smell filled with perfume" is wordy and redundant. "happy and rejoiced" sounds funny. To feel one with nature is to use a cliche. Some good ideas needing better words.
Re: Summer nights alone and their affect on the psyche by oneglove	27-Oct-04/1:44 PM
Title sounds like a master's thesis. "hands on my heart" - like it. S2 - why not leave out the The"'s? "beloved" sounds archaic in this context.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Oct-04/5:51 PM
It's hard to know if you're making fun of this meeting-God-and-answering-to-him stuff or if you're literal. If you're really preaching, then get rid of the cliches and state your case in plain English. No vote until I know which.
Re: An Even Better God by wilco	28-Oct-04/12:22 PM
What makes you think you can slither away without a word, and come waltzing back a month later without so much as a flimsy explanation. I'm melted by "special thanks" though and can only say, Welcome Back. This is a very funny take-off on "A Better God" and also quite profound if you want to open discussions on whether such a god exists, and if so, whether he sends hurricanes, earhtquakes and plagues in anger. Your last two lines pretty well sum up where such discussions end.
Re: Ash by horus8	28-Oct-04/6:45 PM
A house is a house is a house, An ended thing an' black. But why not "and" and "B"?
Re: Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago	29-Oct-04/11:07 AM
Explaining a poem is like calling it a riddle. I prefer to glean what I can without explanation. You could title it "Child Abuse," since your title is redundant anyway. Using King James English detracts unless you are consistant. Grammetical problems in lines 5, 8, and line 3 of S2. Good use of the tic Overuse of the wrath of god, unless you do more with it than say it four times. A lot of criticism? Yeah, but I agree with what you're saying.
Re: From Womb To Wood by Caducus	29-Oct-04/11:13 AM
From the last 3 lines, her son died as a baby. It's a moving picture as is, but, I'd have preferred to know this sooner.
Re: The Star Of The Bum by Blindpoetry	29-Oct-04/11:21 AM
"very Horrendous" is the same as horrendous, and why capitalize it. "I think much like Nothing About You" means something, but what?
Re: Dear George Bush by scitz	29-Oct-04/11:51 AM
You never saw this kinda thing happen when the Democrats were running the country.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Oct-04/10:48 AM
A prose poem always flounders, by definition, an indecicive thing looking for a home between the ramble of a short story and the concision of a poem. Seldom do prose poets space out their lines this much. In the end I think it flows pretty well, which is just a feeling, based on nothing logical. But I do wish you'd make up your mind.
Re: Trust by Dovina	30-Oct-04/8:41 PM
Next caller please. And by god, this better be good!
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Oct-04/10:05 PM
Just open a channel and collect whatever comes accross the airwaves.
Re: Everglades parkway by INTRANSIT	31-Oct-04/9:44 AM
The first verse nicley evokes a sad tale coming, except for the rogue comma. I love openings like this. Is it a heron or an egret? They're about the same, right?
Re: Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago	31-Oct-04/9:47 AM
If you're going to post a revision, at least correct the spelling!
Re: Going Blind by Sasha	31-Oct-04/11:56 AM
Why offset the last line?
Re: Poems for devolution by richa	2-Nov-04/7:53 PM
I'll say something now that you've revised it to where an ordinary American thinks she understands. The arguement that turning clocks back in the fall for farmers in northern latitudes is hogwash. They don't work the fields during winter, so how does a time change help them? Arizona has the right plan - no plan at all. I think you could have said it tighter and with more impact by leaving out haggis and gristle.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Nov-04/8:05 PM
No on 1 and 2. No on most of the ballot propositions today. The pumpkin idea holds up pretty well.
Re: On Youth Revisited by vulcan	2-Nov-04/8:09 PM
"Rainbow after a grim shower" just doesn't work, but neither does the last verse, and "methinks" doesn't fit either. Sorry.