Re: Women by Bakar	21-Oct-04/12:54 PM
Ah, not true, my good sir. You find not because you seek not.
Re: Cutting The Ropes by darylchew	21-Oct-04/1:12 PM
I see the real me in you - paraphrased, and perhaps the best definition of love. The ropes do not seem to follow from the opening as if a step is missing.
Re: Zipmark'd by fevriere	21-Oct-04/1:19 PM
It's better now, but why do you split "slippery?" And "your self allclothed" adds nothing more than "yourself all clothed."
Re: Wasted Life by calilegzzz	21-Oct-04/1:26 PM
This is quite well written, though too often misspelled.
Re: Lufituaeb by Phaiyne	21-Oct-04/1:30 PM
Arogant
Re: Fingernails by thepinkbunnyofdoom	21-Oct-04/1:39 PM
I thought you were above this sort of thing.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Oct-04/11:39 AM
Is it a riddle? Are you a swashbuckler?
Re: From Then Till Now by Jeremi B. Handrinos	22-Oct-04/8:53 PM
From then til now, God has died and dreaming of sex with no hangups is his replacement. And the cow jumped over the moon.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Oct-04/8:55 PM
I cleansed away your sin and did it for my own benefit.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Oct-04/9:34 PM
Everyone has their advice, but here is the true and useful advice, young woman: Follow your heart with constrained devotion and do it for a long time. Persistance after a singular goal will get you where I am - financially secure, mentally logical, loveless, and satisfied. There is no better evening than this one, alone with a glass of good wine, a keyboard, and something the world needs to hear.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Oct-04/11:33 AM
An absolutely wonderful treatise on the war.
Re: Untitled by Imago	25-Oct-04/11:53 AM
Two misspelled words and too broad. Needs specifics.
Re: what a load by the outhouse poet	25-Oct-04/1:47 PM
From an outhouse at a campground long ago. Not original.
Re: You by Fire_is_cool	25-Oct-04/1:59 PM
If you want to post a new poem, please do so. But when you pose a new poem as a revision of an old poem, the old comments look crazy.
Re: Vesper Song by M Hamill	25-Oct-04/2:02 PM
The first two lines say almost nothing. They set a dull pace which does not improve very much.
Re: Unwanted by Fire_is_cool	25-Oct-04/3:10 PM
The commas are mostly not right. This is not really a poem, but a statement in prose, a missive.
Re: Withering Rose by Imago	25-Oct-04/3:17 PM
Some good thoughts here, but lack of precision detracts. In verse 1, beauty does not make things like homes. In vers 2, "and this the state i've found you" doesn't add anything. Verse 3 is good. In Verse 4, "How time has shown it's presence" lacks meaning.. . .
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Oct-04/8:56 PM
The measure of a good poem is the amount of felt life it contains, and this contains a lot.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Oct-04/10:35 AM
Fright and fearfullness are the same, but I like the way it builds and settles back to where it started. King of crime seems wrong, maybe cradle of crime.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Oct-04/10:37 AM
Nice