Re: Evensong by Nicholas Jones	3-Sep-02/7:12 AM
I don't agree with your conclusion. Of course we have an alternative - we don't have to belive in god or the Trinity if it seems untrue. But I believe it is true to you and your poem makes this clear. Some of it sounds like cut-up prose ('And the hymns/were disappointingly insipid.' - I don't catch any rhythm there) but the opening is very atmospheric - probably the best bit of the poem. This is a very interesting poem, plenty to think about.
Re: Diminishing by <~>	3-Sep-02/6:46 AM
I don't know how I missed this one before - it doesn't contain your best lines, but the design is ingenious
Re: Another Window by nightii	3-Sep-02/5:23 AM
I agree, this is pleasingly sardonic.
Re: Ghosts I by timfowler	3-Sep-02/3:15 AM
Again I like this, but I sometimes think that you're too obscure - I don't see what 'he tide of convention' has to do with what's gone before. I think this has a personal meaning for you that doesn't transmit to the reader.
Re: Equinox by timfowler	3-Sep-02/3:13 AM
I like the simple symbolism of this, the equilibrium achieved
Re: THE DEFENSE RESTS by horus8	3-Sep-02/2:13 AM
This is the best thing yet I've read of yours. It's bleeding funny. It's laconic. Lovely.
Re: Signs and Wonders by timfowler	3-Sep-02/2:03 AM
I don't see why the person who gave this a nought wa a hypocrite, if they really didn't like it. However, I like it, especially the ending when the ambivalence of Christianity becomes clear.
Re: Autumn Songs by timfowler	3-Sep-02/1:59 AM
This is very enigmatic but I like the different currents of regret and loss and possibility that pull against each other. The middle stanza of part III is too opaque for me - I think you might need to spell out the 'things too close' a little more.
Re: Autumn Songs by timfowler	3-Sep-02/1:59 AM
This is very enigmatic but I like the different currents of regret and loss and possibility that pull against each other. The middle stanza of part III is too opaque for me - I think you might need to spell the 'things too close' a little more.
Re: The Astronomer's Lament by Christof	3-Sep-02/1:29 AM
I think I'll take that as a compliment.
Re: The Astronomer's Lament by Christof	2-Sep-02/8:53 AM
I think they may have held in orbit for a while, but they never collided, no. No wonder he's so sad 'cos i think she was a beauty.
Re: The Astronomer's Lament by Christof	2-Sep-02/8:37 AM
I'd usually agree with you about repeating one word ina line, but on this occasion I thought - 'damn it, the time has come'. I like the rhythm it gives really. Glad you like it Mrs G.
Re: Z higher of arts by ==Doylum	2-Sep-02/6:29 AM
Of what?
Re: overwhelmed by nentwined	2-Sep-02/6:19 AM
Hey nentwined, I know you run this site and all but i just clicked on random five times and evry poem that came up was one of yours! Nevertheless, I like this, even that strange parenthetical section.
Re: Z higher of arts by ==Doylum	2-Sep-02/6:14 AM
These are funny and I like the way you've forced the rhymes to comic effect, but none of these buggers scans properly.
Re: Simile by *Lyrisick*	2-Sep-02/3:38 AM
I quite like the idea of this, but your archaic language leads you into trouble. There never has been such a word as 'thoueth' - you want 'thou' here, although 'you' would be even better - and 'please don't leave none stone unturned' is a double negative - either 'don't leave a stone' or 'leave no stone' (certainly not 'none'). But your structure works well as you run through all the possibilities. Just cut out the medieval language, it's not necessary.
Re: Stop it I'm Dizzy! by Lenore	30-Aug-02/8:46 AM
This would make a great song - early Dylan kind of thing.
Re: Untitled. by LucidRevelation	30-Aug-02/8:41 AM
very good. I like the way the alternating long/short lines reflect the breathing and the sensuality of the smoke. Not that i condone such a revolting habit. Just say no, kids.
Re: Ionic Winter by david	30-Aug-02/8:32 AM
In what way are you Macbeth? Have you just been off killing kings? Seeing your best friend's ghost? Meeting witches? What?? This infuriates me.
Re: she is... by Sapphire	30-Aug-02/8:29 AM
The second two lines redeem the first, which are confused. By the end though, I'm smitten too.