poemranker ::Untitled. by LucidRevelation

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Free verse № 1564

Untitled.

by LucidRevelation

Member since 2002 · Posted 11 May 2002 · 3 comments

The rhythm of my breath beats in sync to the swirls of smoke that curl around your face. This makes me weak and needy I envy the smoke that curls around your face in the exact rhythm of my breath. Undisrupted and undecided.

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mean 6.19 weighted 6.05 rank 1213 views 146 View voting details →

16 votes so far. Yours would make 17.16 votes so far

3 comments

[8] dilips_10 30-Jun-02/3:20 AM Reply
nice one
[3] harrytuttle 11-Jul-02/11:37 AM Reply
smoking causes cancer
[9] Christof 30-Aug-02/8:41 AM Reply
very good. I like the way the alternating long/short lines reflect the breathing and the sensuality of the smoke. Not that i condone such a revolting habit. Just say no, kids.