poemranker ::Simile by *Lyrisick*

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Free verse № 12700

Simile

Member since 2002 · Posted 2 Sep 2002 · 3 comments

Contemplation. Situations, like a decision. Waiting for the right time. Like with precision. Know just how to say it, Like an outline. Letting things run through freely, Like things through my mind. If you only knew, Like knowledge gained. Then you would want me, Like desert flowers the rain. Wondering when thoueth shall see, Like those who are bilnd. The perfect one for you is definitely me, Like some shall never find. But then again some things are to be left unlearned. Like secret untold. If not me, please don't leave none stone unturned, Like settlers rushing gold. Never realizing how much you mean, Like things wasted. Waiting for that feeling of love from you to gleam, Like the feeling that love brings. My thoughts stay intensified on you, Like I'm incapacitated.

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mean 5.17 weighted 5.04 rank 6969 views 172 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

3 comments

[5] Christof 2-Sep-02/3:38 AM Reply
I quite like the idea of this, but your archaic language leads you into trouble. There never has been such a word as 'thoueth' - you want 'thou' here, although 'you' would be even better - and 'please don't leave none stone unturned' is a double negative - either 'don't leave a stone' or 'leave no stone' (certainly not 'none'). But your structure works well as you run through all the possibilities. Just cut out the medieval language, it's not necessary.
[n/a] -=SeTTle=- › Christof 19-Apr-03/10:19 PM Reply
AS THE FOREMOST POEMRANKER POET GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT DICKLICKER
[7] PawnedTidal 11-Sep-02/6:40 AM Reply
I agree with christof. I like the content, but standard English will work better for you. Nice job.