Re: a comment on Bleeding V2 by INTRANSIT	17-Oct-02/8:12 AM
Is that Jewel as in the singer? I had no idea she wrote poetry.
Re: a comment on On a chill morning by razorgrin	17-Oct-02/7:57 AM
I don't have a problem with it either. it seems a very succinct way of ending the poem. Goddammit, I like it. But there's no accounting for taste. And thanks for your message Mrs G.
Re: a comment on Bleeding V2 by INTRANSIT	17-Oct-02/7:37 AM
I think in this case you're better sticking with capitalism, launch in on Bush etc in something new. As for reading - well, the people who got me writing were T.S. Eliot, Robert Frost, Edward Thomas, a modern Brit called Simon Armitage, Philip Larkin, and Wordsworth, Keats, Coleridge etc. Read some Shakespeare, esp. the sonnets, because he will tell you everything you need to know about handling forms and rhymes and ideas in a small space. Read Yeats for the manic highs and lows. And follow your nose - if you find a good side route from one of these chaps, follow it. Of course, these are just my faves - other people will give you other names.
Re: a comment on Bleeding V2 by INTRANSIT	17-Oct-02/7:21 AM
You can always rely on me for a completely bizarre reading of things. It's either genius or extreme stupidity, I can't decide which!
Re: a comment on On the Swings by Christof	17-Oct-02/7:16 AM
I would start with ex-girlfriends and work down through annoying co-workers to irritating TV presenters. I could really have a good time.
Re: a comment on Bleeding V2 by INTRANSIT	17-Oct-02/7:08 AM
Doesn't everyone like Mercs? Also, they are the most common car of choice for Arabian dictators and American moneymen alike. To be honest, I didn't pick up on the 'war on Iraq' slant - now I see the relevance of the 3000 souls though. I think this does need a bit of work, you need to make your satire clearer and more biting. 'Cos at the moment it reads to me like an indictment of capitalism. I'm all for that sort of thing but it obviously isn't what you intend.
Re: a comment on The Devil Made Her Do It by Limness	17-Oct-02/6:30 AM
I'm glad to see I sort of understood it while not understanding it. Means your message comes over loud and clear. Good stuff.
Re: At my grandmother's aging sight by vulcan	17-Oct-02/5:58 AM
I think you keep on resubmitting this one - you must be doing edits I haven't noticed. The ending in particular is very strong.
Re: The Moment of Elevation by vulcan	17-Oct-02/5:57 AM
I liek the idea of the union of Man and Nature even in destruction. That is truly Shelleyan. You do capture the Romantics very well.
Re: Snow-White by vulcan	17-Oct-02/5:55 AM
I'm taking it that the 'Sole' refers to the solitary?
Re: a comment on Bleeding V2 by INTRANSIT	17-Oct-02/5:49 AM
Shakes the keys to his Merc?
Re: a comment on On the Swings by Christof	17-Oct-02/5:45 AM
I'm flattered. I wouldn't know where to start though - Ith ink a person must have balls of steel to sit down and tell someone how to write poems. It's all just from reading reading reading and finding rhythms in your head and being true to your own voice. Not that I always manage to pull it off, but those are the starting points I think. And anyway, I like your stuff, it has honesty.
Re: On a chill morning by razorgrin	17-Oct-02/4:03 AM
What is this mad pedantry about cars/brooms whatever? Who cares? This poem would go on forever if there was a description of every single detail and by the end of it the reader would want to baste himself in his own tears of frustration and rage. Leave it as it is Razorgrin!
Re: The Devil Made Her Do It by Limness	17-Oct-02/1:31 AM
My limited knowledge of tarot doesn't help me here, but I think she's decided to cool off her relationship with some chap? what is the significance if inverting the last card? Pleasedo explain because I think it'll clear up the poem for me - it has your usual grace and swing.
Re: Confessor's Nightcap by Limness	17-Oct-02/1:28 AM
I don't know what it is - maybe it's the time of morning - but I think this is hilarious. You have a sly style and I like it. 'If ears retained'etc is genius.
Re: Persephone by Lynn	16-Oct-02/8:24 AM
This is a great updating, and very funny. Well done.
Re: a comment on Devotion by Tyriana	16-Oct-02/8:22 AM
How would anyone get from this haiku that it's about a god? I think you have to expect people to read their own interpretations into this and not get annoyed if they do.
Re: I am Cuba by cacophony	16-Oct-02/7:56 AM
I think you should cut the last four lines - 'wrote' just isn't grammatical here and spoils the verse, although you need it for your rhyme - and anyway, the first stanza is really strong on its own.
Re: On a chill morning by razorgrin	16-Oct-02/7:39 AM
And you call my poem chilly? This is icy and sinister.
Re: a comment on The Thought Of It by Christof	16-Oct-02/7:34 AM
Funny, my poems always seem to be reminding you of something disturbing. I do apologise.