Yeah. Not at all bad for a topical verse.

How is it that you can say something as eloquent as "pain be waiting at the end of my arm bearers knock" and start off with something as clunky and lame as "basically playing at the strings of me heart's true feelings." Do you see the difference? Take a deep breath and strive to be consistent.

BTW, Did he convert her?

Well, hello. Nice to meet you. I just finished losing myself into a very blue canvas,really. I have only two words for you. Damn... Wow.

All the synonyms for "saw" bother me. Why not just drop them all?

I don't understand why this poem has the word "douche" in it.

The title seems contrary. If you plan to help him/her through something and be a friend, you will not walk out.

Overwritten, for effect no doubt, but the last lines are good.

I am not getting how the printing of poetry mocks mother nature here in the aspens. And how do we shout weaknesses that are previously unparalleled (unshouted or unfelt)? Incomplete sentence: "As honey and dew drips quietly from silent tongues." Aspen leaves are yellow in the fall, so how do leaves of every color litter the ground? But like Mulberry says, the next lines are good. Sorry, I'm picky today.

"A vow without words" seems a more sentimental title. I'd like to see the "ever" taken out of "clear and ever true" and "laways" from "I will always love you" because the present night is good - why complicated it. And please make "your" yours in "And your and mine have become ours." The ambiguity of "less than precious stone" makes it all the more appealing.

Good use of racism, Dovina.

Some edits: - Wherever is one word. - Don't put a period at the end of the first line. - How is the rain like tears from children's faces? Yes, I know. But say how in the poem. - Don't say blood in the next line. For one, it sounds like your saying children's tears are blood. For another, you're really saying the rain's blood. Rain doesn't have blood. If anything, rain is blood. - Don't capitalize wind. - Don't put a period at the end of that sentence. - Say Nature's, not Natures. And don't capitalize breath. - Don't say reliquish in another language. There's no point or basis in the poem for it. And anyways, then you have to worry about putting the pronoun them before reliquere (where it should be if you're talking French), or after where it doesn't sound right. Better yet, just say relinquish. - Forgetting in the next line doesn't seem to have a subject. Then leave should probably be leaving. - I appreciate poetic phrase-making, but running of with the distance doesn't make a whole lot of sense. You don't have to change it, just so you know. - Don't say capere. There's no reason. - In that sentence, you've got the leaves running off in the distance, but what's standing tired and naked? The trees, obviously. But you haven't said that. It sounds like you mean the leaves are standing. Say the trees. - Make the last two lines a real sentence. It also doesn't make sense as it is. There's no subject for waiting, unless you mean battle, but that doesn't make sense. It also sounds like you're saying waiting for the return of the never-ending cycle, which is kind of silly, because the cycle's never-ending, right, so where did it go? That's all. Sorry to sound nitpicky, but you have to admit making these changes won't do anything to your poem but make it make more sense. It's not like they'll ruin it or anything.

Beautiful and full of resolve.

I liked it all, including last stanza.

submit this to an NA meditation book

what can I say? I'm a fan.

"Nightmare", "Avoidnace" possible titles. What we do to obliterate him and his power.