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Savor Your Tasteful, Tasteless Morsel (Free verse) by nothingtoanyone
My mind a muse Busily playing at the strings of my hearts true feelings. Douche be with me Love be gone, and pain be waiting at the end of my arm bearers nock. Lock him and keep him Lying, Lying there in my pain Now his. Now his, Now his I may look on and grin, not visually scared by my past. Never to be broken Never to be taken as a token made to fit in a fools pocket. Ark not so for my fingers lay still No music pours out of my mouth only a stiffened tongue, still, failing to taste.

Up the ladder: "Joseph, Joseph"
Down the ladder: pinky swear

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.4
Weighted score: 5.166884
Overall Rank: 5059
Posted: May 1, 2005 5:50 PM PDT; Last modified: May 1, 2005 5:50 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] zodiac @ 213.186.166.145 | 2-May-05/12:43 AM | Reply
I don't understand why this poem has the word "douche" in it.
[n/a] Alizarin_Crimson @ 68.227.185.82 | 3-May-05/6:18 AM | Reply
How is it that you can say something as eloquent as "pain be waiting at the end of my arm bearers knock" and start off with something as clunky and lame as "basically playing at the strings of me heart's true feelings." Do you see the difference? Take a deep breath and strive to be consistent.
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