some deleted user
on A Kiss In Shadows (quite happy for me) by Caducus
10 Jun 2005, 7:10 AM
Quit fucking around with matters that don't matter, answer my comment so you and I can benefit. Goddamn it
Dovina's right. The few users that treat you as a serious amateur instead of a 'stroke my fur please' fetisjist are too few. And considered the fact that most users were breastfeeded the English language, the overall quality is a tragedy.
First off. "Sleep" is used to evoke a peaceful innocent image to contrast with the following lines. Secondly. "Heaps" can also mean a great amount and true some were piled into heaps also. The word dead is in front of heaps which in english usually means they're dead first. "Sleep" once agian is just meant figuratively. The bodies were left to rot. That is why line 3 and 4 are there. Thirdly. I did mean just the Tutsi. Genocide is specified. It's no less unfair than talking about the Jews killed in the Holocaust without mentioning the Russian soldiers. Which is done all the time. Shame on you Spielberg. A third of the way into the killing no one could keep track of how many were dead. They couldn't keep up with the death toll. Hense the last lines of verse 1. Finally. I did mean fire brigade but I do see now how the following lines may have confused you. Originally long ago I wrote "Hear the sirens" but I wanted to point out our (USA) ignorance of what was happening at the time so I changed it to "the silence" then to "our silence". Right now I'm considering changing it to "Hear our silence
serenade the deadly raid" I appreciate that point that you made and I apologise for the mispeling.
cries
zero it rockmage go on you havent came in over an hour.
I bet you have strong arms from all that self love.
yellow seems like a simple kind of guy
rockmage's vibrating bed
Bankrupt_Word_Clerk
replying on Haiku String of the Bee by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk
10 Jun 2005, 12:26 AM
k
Even though your poem "Faith" is a direct quote from Hebrews 11:1, I take your word for it when you say you learned it from your father and did not copy it from the Bible. If you were a plagiarizer, I think it would have shown up in your other postings too; but as far as I can see it has not. I think everyone should get off your back about this.
U saying that this is "plagiarism" but instead from text, its my father? How is this plagiarism? Besides this is even none of your business!
YEA YEA...call what ever you like. lil_dumb_boi, lil_rotten_boi...etc etc.
The first verse is perfect.
Second verse can be taken so many ways thet I wish it were more directed.
Third verse is good, but when I try to relate it to the first, I come up wanting.
Overall, I like this kind of poem.
i drink too much sometimes
I don't want to spoil the party but I go along with Blindwriter. Agreed, due to the last lines the poem deserves a mentioning in the lower regions of the Best category, but the main part is mediocre, à nd with off-timing at the start à nd one moment of bad grammar. If this represents the best in poetry, I expect to be crowned King Genius within three weeks.
>>I thought of my love, Smiled till I wrinkled<<
>>Just younger, And holding on to hope<<
You can't do this. It's ugly and it makes no sense.
>>there<<, in the first stanza. I don't get it.
For your info...I do not have a sister. I'm the only child.