Re: a comment on Smoky Mountain High by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.185	14-Jun-05/3:53 PM
Your eyes are crossed.
Re: a comment on Wanted by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.185	14-Jun-05/3:50 PM
"1880’s migrant lineage" is a good suggestion.
Re: The Heros by madjack2	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.139	14-Jun-05/3:39 PM
I would tell you to work on this a little more. I have a feeling that with some polishing and a few changes in word choice it could be a better piece. The formating is all jumbled. I would like to see 'stronger' language, since this is about strength, heroes, and such.
Re: untitled by lazuli42	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.139	14-Jun-05/3:34 PM
I really like this! I do wondered if 'travel' should actually be 'traveled', because you say 'before'. I kind of like that you did not use punctuation, so that there are multiple nuances can be made in the reading of it. I think that that actually may add to this piece, although it wouldn't have hurt anything had you chose to use it, either. I actually gave it a fairly high score, (in my book) because it was clever, and made me stop and pause and reread several times.
Re: Faded Passion by Dariana	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.139	14-Jun-05/3:26 PM
Not too bad...I suspect the period after "to feel" was a typo, meant to be a comma. This didn't really move me, I guess because it sounds/reads like a million others.
Re: Im different so what? by xblackstarsx	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.139	14-Jun-05/3:23 PM
I have a motto...don't use puncuation at all or at least try to use it correctly. Why have commas, but no periods? Why have capital letters, but not capitalize I? Kewl? Should one take you seriously? Would a read over before you hit submit be asking too much? (Atleast) This piece is "Lame"...
Re: Rock and skin me by Figure 8	LilMsLadyPoet 205.188.116.139	14-Jun-05/3:18 PM
This made me feel ill...it was repulsive to me, even though I am not entirely sure of what you are portraying here....and I have a feeling I don't want to know. I suspect "eyes"...in, "the camera eyes" means the camera eye IS, if so, it should be: "the camera eye's for all"....so on.
Re: Students by Blue Magpie	Dovina 69.175.32.185	14-Jun-05/2:24 PM
I like the first 5 lines. Then it gets too much caught up in form and etherial meaninglessness.
Re: Mr. Campbell's final journey by jroday	<~> 167.206.181.179	14-Jun-05/1:32 PM
i wonder at the choice of name, especially since the 'realitiies rage' opening conjures up Joseph Campbell and his 'Power of Myth'
Re: quick by <~>	<~> 167.206.181.179	14-Jun-05/1:23 PM
this poem was written for a word-list challenge. there was a 30 minute time limit.
Re: a comment on Mr. Campbell's final journey by jroday	Dovina 69.175.32.185	14-Jun-05/12:49 PM
I see them now. With line spacing the way it is those rhymes don't add much to the flow.
Re: a comment on Mr. Campbell's final journey by jroday	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	14-Jun-05/12:12 PM
lightly-nightly repair-stare Hm, indeed mostly suggestions of rhyming, a loose alliteration. On second view the poem's not improving...
Re: a comment on Panama by Dovina	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.59.26	14-Jun-05/11:17 AM
that's the trouble.. what images come into my mind aren't always controlled by the poet.. maybe I'm just raunchy. dang.
Re: a comment on Youth Spent by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.59.26	14-Jun-05/11:07 AM
happily married and mushy. It's pretty sappy I admit.
Re: a comment on Unclean by Dovina	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.59.26	14-Jun-05/11:06 AM
yes, I'm a med-alert bracelet wearing, helmeted, short-bus riding, window-licking, retard home living idiot.
Re: Beach Volleyball by lil_evil_boi	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	14-Jun-05/10:52 AM
If you're any older that 7 or 8, this is terrible.
Re: Books by sacred_poet_me	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	14-Jun-05/10:49 AM
This has been said much better on those posters at the local library that say "Reading Is Super".
Re: Mr. Campbell's final journey by jroday	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	14-Jun-05/10:45 AM
feet are bare, not bear....unless maybe they're really hairy, in which case you might try something like Hobbit feet. So, this guy did something bad enough to get the chair for it and he's going to heaven...I'll never understand Christianity..you get to do whatever you want to do, and as long as you say you're sorry, you still get to go to heaven. YAHOO
Re: a comment on Mr. Campbell's final journey by jroday	Dovina 69.175.32.185	14-Jun-05/10:08 AM
Except for prayer/chair, what rhymes?
Re: Mr. Campbell's final journey by jroday	Dovina 69.175.32.185	14-Jun-05/10:07 AM
Pretty good, this one. A few line edits: Reality's rivers clasped hands troubled soul as he journeys