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Beach Volleyball (Free verse) by lil_evil_boi The beach-sand, sun, and sea.
Castles and coolers and popside sticks.
Seaweed, salt, sand everywhere.
Crashing waves, laughing kids.
A ball, striped like a rainbow, tossed.
Up the ladder:
a skinny man on the dock
Down the ladder:
a fresh start
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: June 13, 2005 4:46 PM PDT; Last modified: June 13, 2005 4:46 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.880797 Overall Rank: 10067 Comments:
[1]
Bluemonkey @ 170.141.68.99
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14-Jun-05/10:52 AM
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Reply
If you're any older that 7 or 8, this is terrible.
Mediocre. Could be improved.
Sun and sand and salt and sea
Castles and coolers and flesh burned from bones Sharpened popsickles and terrorist mermaids Strangling seaweed and snipery squids Tremor waves, grinning sharks A beach boy's head, dripping red, tossed over a net
Shouldn't that be "Castles and coolers and tight bum flesh"?
There are laughing kids around. You want this poem get slapped with an R-rating?
No kidding (...) It keeps amazing me how Americans don't blink an eye when in movies people get literally cut in half but scream murder over a split second nipple on tv. A COVERED nipple. Europe's still hiccupping.
I dont know what to give you here. I think this poem is too simple and I think it needs more creativity. So I'll give you a 5. Not bad not good.
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