some deleted user
replying on Unclean by Dovina
14 Jun 2005, 9:54 AM
That's one of the most stupid remarks I have ever read on internet
It has some good lines, but overall it's too mushy for my taste. "love so clean so void of emptiness" seems disingenuous.
You're an even bigger idiot. As intolerant as Jew-Hating? Are you living in a retard home?
You're an idiot. There's much worse than that out there.
Sorry, yes. The haiku structure works well for some things, but I get a feeling of being restraind by it in this poem.
By Job, youâve got it.
The rhyming keeps the very long lines from going astray. This is a good one. It would have been a lot better if you hadn't been so outright about 'strapping into an electric chair'. Stanza 2 contains all we need to now about that.
Fine
and I stare at the San Bernardino mountains and hope the fires don't start again.. .but with all the rain... who knows?
I self-define as a cactus that wants a hug.
raunchy
I thought of cigarettes when I read this. Camel hard pack. I have no idea why.
I like this poem.
I disagreed with the general premise of your poem.
However, I did see the images in my head as I read it.
It's also an insensitive poem. In fact, it's as intolerant as Jew-hating; In my humble opinion.
do you mean 'without' the restraints?
Kk..but i think this poem is pretty imaginative. But apparently not from other people's point of view.