| Re: a comment on Books by sacred_poet_me |
sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244 |
13-Jun-05/8:37 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Unclean by Dovina |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
13-Jun-05/7:09 PM |
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That's one of the most insensitive remarks I've ever seen on internet
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| Re: Unclean by Dovina |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
13-Jun-05/7:06 PM |
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Christ, you'r like CNN but with bigger tits and a smaller camera.
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| Re: Books by sacred_poet_me |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
13-Jun-05/7:05 PM |
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Like describing a blow job on Uranus.
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| Re: a comment on Emotionally Unavailable by horus8 |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
13-Jun-05/7:03 PM |
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...Of course, naturally, nor the legs.
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| Re: Books by sacred_poet_me |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
13-Jun-05/6:09 PM |
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So true. But the phrasing could have done with a little more imagination.
By the way; Europe congratulates Michael Jackson on his victory. Of course he and McCaulkin feeled each other up, but that can't be the reason the latter one rode the coke wagon.
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| Re: Unclean by Dovina |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
13-Jun-05/5:53 PM |
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>>and added other cuts and bruises
to disguise as best they could
injury as a robbers act<<
The most horrifying part, in fact.
The woman's question; a breathtaking moment.
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| Re: a comment on on passing through some small town by Dental Panic |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
13-Jun-05/4:58 PM |
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I only meant to drop the first line.
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| Re: a comment on on passing through some small town by Dental Panic |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
13-Jun-05/4:44 PM |
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Dovina has a point. Amazing how dropping the first stanza fortifies the other three.
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| Re: Emotionally Unavailable by horus8 |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
13-Jun-05/4:39 PM |
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Associative writing. A keyword (f.i. 'emotion'), and from there on write everything down that pops into your mind. It can lead to interesting finds. I mean, who would think of using 'Moo-moo' in a poem and a reader's advice to pause for a demented laugh?
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| Re: I Wrote A Poem by Blue Magpie |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
13-Jun-05/4:22 PM |
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Like Dr. Seuss. The ending is weak.
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| Re: Flamingo's Stare by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
13-Jun-05/4:18 PM |
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I think you could say this better with the restraints of haiku.
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| Re: on passing through some small town by Dental Panic |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
13-Jun-05/4:15 PM |
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Drop the first line.
Second verse is good.
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| Re: After seven days in the sun by <~> |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
13-Jun-05/4:00 PM |
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The reprises wear out after stanz 5 but a good and original form just the same.
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| Re: A Hallmark Card for You (With Love) by Bluemonkey |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
13-Jun-05/3:34 PM |
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I'm trying to think of someone I might send this to, and coming up blank.
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| Re: -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
13-Jun-05/3:23 PM |
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The last verse is better now, but look at the grammar and spelling.
desecration abound (number disagreement)
There are more bodies (There are - not needed)
snapping THIER necks.
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| Re: a comment on Acrylic French Nails by Dovina |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
13-Jun-05/3:13 PM |
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A comma after "ordinary" will hopefully ameliorate your first legitimate complaint. A comma after "right" may help with your second, but I doubt it. As a sentence, it might read: "I could not imagine one so bored with looking right, she employs devices
to be different."
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| Re: Emotionally Unavailable by horus8 |
darby pyn 207.200.116.130 |
13-Jun-05/2:08 PM |
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you naked/ me vacum cleaner. priceless.
entertaining as usual. 8
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| Re: Zodiac's Visit to Micky D's by Oej-Oej |
windyone 63.245.189.144 |
13-Jun-05/1:27 PM |
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| Re: Emotionally Unavailable by horus8 |
Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 69.231.25.22 |
13-Jun-05/1:02 PM |
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