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Zodiac's Visit to Micky D's (Free verse) by Oej-Oej He steered his station wagon cautiously
into the drive through lane -
intent on placing a meager order
from the chrome plated waiter
with the quivering voice.
You see, his many days sitting idly in the classroom
and those endless nights festering in the kitchen
had endowed him with quite a midriff
that his steering wheel had chafed beyond recognition.
So with steel-like will, he placed his order
âMcSalad and diet coke,â he curtly enjoined
âWill that be all?â inquired the neon clad servant
Sweat began to bleed from his brow
His heart thumped erratically out of rhythm
as those words echoed in his head
âWILLLLL THAAATTTTT BEEEEEE ALLLLLLLLâ
He glanced over his shoulder at the pile of discarded
fast-food containers that littered
the back seat of his living-room on wheels
Then, without warning, darted out a series of commands
âYesâ!
âIâll have SIXTY-TWO Big Macs,
SEVENTY-TWO orders of Fries,
THIRTY-SIX McSlurpies
And TWO DOZEN Apple Piesâ
âThatâll be 458 dollars and 27 cents sir,
please drive down to the first windowâ, replied the waiter
So on his way he went
that bearer of the cosmos
With his midday snack in hand
And a six pack to boot -
proudly proclaiming that he
once again was master of his impulses.
Epilogue: Upon his arrival at home that night this walking carafe of
signs and symbols logged into his MeriTrade account at swapped his
entire high-tech portfolio for 5 billion shares of McDonaldâs stock.
Peace
Oej-Oej
Up the ladder:
Neurons
Down the ladder:
Seamus McGee
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Posted: March 10, 2004 9:05 AM PST; Last modified: March 11, 2004 2:58 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.2384057 Overall Rank: 4104 Comments:
[n/a]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215
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10-Mar-04/10:14 AM
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Reply
Wacky numbers -- hilarious!!!
I find it funny that 'Oej-Oej' is 'Jeo-Jeo' spelled backwards.
What's more, your inability to properly employ your mother tongue is something akin to an inability to properly use one's hands. What for others can be a delicate instrument for prodding, clasping, caressing a loved one, or plucking a chicken may only be a lifeless bludgeon for you, and an ineffectual one at that.
HAVING TROUBLE THINKING OF A RESPONSE?? Now we're at the part where you reveal some detail about your personal life which ultimately puts you in a bad light. Then you tell me you feel that I'm a great chap underneath and I might consider you a father figure. Then we start over again. Only this time, I'd prefer to get off the Ferris Wheel - which you will undoubtedly take as a victory for yourself of some kind. Go ahead. Who am I to deny you some meaningless pleasure?
Professor,
My use of the english language is better than most and not nearly as good as some. I've done quite well with it so far in my life. It was good enough to draw you out into a long and extended conversation about a popular subject. It was good enough to prompt you to explore some of my previous postings on this site. It was good enough to get your blood boiling. Now if I am the dim-witted illiterate you claim that I am....what does all of the above say about you? I am done with you.....but before we part please admit it....you're an English professor aren't you?
Your use of plain english in your work has alot of odd curiosities. Many times I've stumbled over scattered irregularities in grammar and sentence structure when reading some of your work- and it sure doesn't come across as poetic wordplay. I'm not one to act superior, I have my own querks in my use of the english language, even though I've greatly improved during my time at rankerville-- But you don't seem to pick up on your writing querks as far as I can tell.
As for you being dim-witted? Narrow minded is more like it, but whatever. You have your moments, and other times it seems that you don't really think before speaking. At times your pretty edgy and sensitive to harsh criticism or opinions.. you certainly never reacted well to any of the parodies I've written concerning a few pieces of yours.
Why would you have re-posted this with no changes at all? Would it be to force me (at least) to vote/comment on it so you can claim, if I rank it low, that I'm petty and childish? And if I rank it high, that I'm weak-willed and awestricken by your skill?
And if I say that this is utter crap and based on nothing very closely resembling the reality of my life, that that was the point anyway and I'm (again) petty and childish? Or if I say anything at all, that tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans can be an stimulus for a weak economy? Very well. You leave me no choice but to employ the poemranker's most deadly weapon, THE GIANT COILING POEME-EMBROWNING PATENTLY-FALSE -=DARK_ANGEL=- TEN OF SHAME!!!!!!!!! -10- -10- -10- -10- -10- Hahahahahaha!!!
Unfortunately the -=Dark_Angel=- TEN OF SHAME loses all its pow'r if you admit it's PATENTLY-FALSE. -10-
-10-
bow'ls
-10-
delete
-D-
Zodiac,
I actually did make a change. I mistakenly placed an "a" both before and after the word "place" in the third line of the poem. It was an obvious error that I felt compelled to fix. Wow you are really paranoid about this whole little game we've been playing here. Chill-out man. You really lack self control don't you? You're delusional to boot. On three occasions here you stated that you would no longer engage me. Twice you could not resist the intentional bate I threw your way and now you've conjured up some strange conspiracy theory around a simple grammatical correction I made to this poem. Wow! I didnât realize I had rocked your world so profoundly! But your comment was revealing. From your own pen you assert, "If I rank it high, that I'm weak-willed and awestricken by your skill"....then you proceed to give me a 10!! Gee Professor I never new you felt that way. Coming from a literary genius like you, that's quite a compliment. I'm really quite happy that you've responded as you have. Your impulsiveness and lack of control are what this poem is all about. You can knock my writing abilities all you want but you can't deny that I've captured a salient aspect of your personality. None of us is perfect. That's why I thought your Joe-Joe work was so good. Yes, it does describe an unflattering aspect of my personality. Darky says I'm "thick"...very perceptive of him... I often can be although I refer to it as being "head strong". My colleagues here at the collegeâ¦who are profoundly liberalâ¦freely attest to my unyielding personality and, at times, myopic way of looking at things. Not a big deal, weâre all works in process. By the way, where did the "Father Figure" crap come from? I know I said that your ideas are similar to those of an 18 year old kid..but I really have no idea how old you are....for all I know you might be old enough to be my grandfather. At any rate, please relax a bit and donât take things so seriouslyâ¦life is too short. Peace Joe-Joe
Pardon me that's "knew" not "new"
Whats this supposed to be? A parody? Its funny, a good joke, but its lacking.. since your description of zodiacs personality is purely fictional.. and has little relation to zodiac.
But its an amusing piece never-the-less, thats worth an eight.
Joe joe, the last intentional thing you've ever done is wipe your face off on a frozen waffle. You professional spackler.
Thank you sir may I have more?
LOL!
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