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Zodiac's Visit to Micky D's (Free verse) by Oej-Oej

He steered his station wagon cautiously into the drive through lane - intent on placing a meager order from the chrome plated waiter with the quivering voice. You see, his many days sitting idly in the classroom and those endless nights festering in the kitchen had endowed him with quite a midriff that his steering wheel had chafed beyond recognition. So with steel-like will, he placed his order “McSalad and diet coke,” he curtly enjoined “Will that be all?” inquired the neon clad servant Sweat began to bleed from his brow His heart thumped erratically out of rhythm as those words echoed in his head “WILLLLL THAAATTTTT BEEEEEE ALLLLLLLL” He glanced over his shoulder at the pile of discarded fast-food containers that littered the back seat of his living-room on wheels Then, without warning, darted out a series of commands “Yes”! “I’ll have SIXTY-TWO Big Macs, SEVENTY-TWO orders of Fries, THIRTY-SIX McSlurpies And TWO DOZEN Apple Pies” “That’ll be 458 dollars and 27 cents sir, please drive down to the first window”, replied the waiter So on his way he went that bearer of the cosmos With his midday snack in hand And a six pack to boot - proudly proclaiming that he once again was master of his impulses. Epilogue: Upon his arrival at home that night this walking carafe of signs and symbols logged into his MeriTrade account at swapped his entire high-tech portfolio for 5 billion shares of McDonald’s stock. Peace Oej-Oej

SupremeDreamer 11-Mar-04/8:50 PM
Your use of plain english in your work has alot of odd curiosities. Many times I've stumbled over scattered irregularities in grammar and sentence structure when reading some of your work- and it sure doesn't come across as poetic wordplay. I'm not one to act superior, I have my own querks in my use of the english language, even though I've greatly improved during my time at rankerville-- But you don't seem to pick up on your writing querks as far as I can tell.

As for you being dim-witted? Narrow minded is more like it, but whatever. You have your moments, and other times it seems that you don't really think before speaking. At times your pretty edgy and sensitive to harsh criticism or opinions.. you certainly never reacted well to any of the parodies I've written concerning a few pieces of yours.




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