Replying to a comment on:

Zodiac's Visit to Micky D's (Free verse) by Oej-Oej

He steered his station wagon cautiously into the drive through lane - intent on placing a meager order from the chrome plated waiter with the quivering voice. You see, his many days sitting idly in the classroom and those endless nights festering in the kitchen had endowed him with quite a midriff that his steering wheel had chafed beyond recognition. So with steel-like will, he placed his order “McSalad and diet coke,” he curtly enjoined “Will that be all?” inquired the neon clad servant Sweat began to bleed from his brow His heart thumped erratically out of rhythm as those words echoed in his head “WILLLLL THAAATTTTT BEEEEEE ALLLLLLLL” He glanced over his shoulder at the pile of discarded fast-food containers that littered the back seat of his living-room on wheels Then, without warning, darted out a series of commands “Yes”! “I’ll have SIXTY-TWO Big Macs, SEVENTY-TWO orders of Fries, THIRTY-SIX McSlurpies And TWO DOZEN Apple Pies” “That’ll be 458 dollars and 27 cents sir, please drive down to the first window”, replied the waiter So on his way he went that bearer of the cosmos With his midday snack in hand And a six pack to boot - proudly proclaiming that he once again was master of his impulses. Epilogue: Upon his arrival at home that night this walking carafe of signs and symbols logged into his MeriTrade account at swapped his entire high-tech portfolio for 5 billion shares of McDonald’s stock. Peace Oej-Oej

Joe-joe 11-Mar-04/10:26 AM
Zodiac,

I actually did make a change. I mistakenly placed an "a" both before and after the word "place" in the third line of the poem. It was an obvious error that I felt compelled to fix. Wow you are really paranoid about this whole little game we've been playing here. Chill-out man. You really lack self control don't you? You're delusional to boot. On three occasions here you stated that you would no longer engage me. Twice you could not resist the intentional bate I threw your way and now you've conjured up some strange conspiracy theory around a simple grammatical correction I made to this poem. Wow! I didn’t realize I had rocked your world so profoundly! But your comment was revealing. From your own pen you assert, "If I rank it high, that I'm weak-willed and awestricken by your skill"....then you proceed to give me a 10!! Gee Professor I never new you felt that way. Coming from a literary genius like you, that's quite a compliment.

I'm really quite happy that you've responded as you have. Your impulsiveness and lack of control are what this poem is all about. You can knock my writing abilities all you want but you can't deny that I've captured a salient aspect of your personality. None of us is perfect. That's why I thought your Joe-Joe work was so good. Yes, it does describe an unflattering aspect of my personality. Darky says I'm "thick"...very perceptive of him... I often can be although I refer to it as being "head strong". My colleagues here at the college…who are profoundly liberal…freely attest to my unyielding personality and, at times, myopic way of looking at things. Not a big deal, we’re all works in process.

By the way, where did the "Father Figure" crap come from? I know I said that your ideas are similar to those of an 18 year old kid..but I really have no idea how old you are....for all I know you might be old enough to be my grandfather. At any rate, please relax a bit and don’t take things so seriously…life is too short.

Peace

Joe-Joe




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001