Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

After seven days in the sun (Villanelle) by <~>
Nathalie, riding, found the boy, dead; She had not known he was missing. The coyote she startled ran on ahead Letting the smell steer his tread. She'd circled around to look for the thing-- When Nathalie, riding, found the boy, dead, Face down in the sand. A feeling of dread at seeing his corpse there, bloating, A coyote, startled, but waiting, ahead-- A rare feast before it was spread. It circled around, a coward, a king When Nathalie, riding, found the boy, dead. He'd used a rope; he'd severed the thread Of breath in his self-made swing. The coyote, startled, had run on ahead. The black rope was tight, and had stopped his breath As he swung from that fatal string. And Nathalie, riding, found the boy, dead; The coyote she startled ran on ahead.

Up the ladder: Priceless Moment
Down the ladder: (limits of ambition)

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 60
.. 11
.. 20
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 01
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 7.785714
Weighted score: 7.0365205
Overall Rank: 40
Posted: July 28, 2003 9:03 PM PDT; Last modified: July 28, 2003 9:03 PM PDT
View voting details
The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

zodiac

Comments:
[9] <{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154 | 29-Jul-03/12:09 AM | Reply
Supple for the lost ones. Roaring for the found.
[10] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.208.102 | 29-Jul-03/6:18 AM | Reply
I'm somewhere between lost and found at the corner of walk and don't walk.
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > INTRANSIT | 29-Jul-03/6:22 AM | Reply
why?
[10] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.209.14 > <~> | 29-Jul-03/6:28 AM | Reply
I meant poetically. Though I have gained so much ground due to the 'ranker and all involved. But,I think, it may not be me. ya know?
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > INTRANSIT | 29-Jul-03/6:30 AM | Reply
rich, you need to shut up and write. have a nice drinkie, to get the juices flowing. float off in a skiff. put up a hammock. take off your shoes. have a hose fight with a kid. and stop watching so much damn disney. it's poison.
[10] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.209.14 > <~> | 29-Jul-03/6:40 AM | Reply
LOL that's it! we're boxin' on this disney thing. Thanks for the pick-me-up. I'll be laughing at this all day.
[8] richa @ 81.86.245.194 | 29-Jul-03/9:13 AM | Reply
very skillful to manage a vilanelle with the lines 'Nathalie, riding, found the boy, dead' and 'The coyote, startled, had run on ahead.'
[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.21.223 | 29-Jul-03/9:29 AM | Reply
Very, Very, Well Done. This Poem Took some Talent. -10-
[10] William Delacroix @ 206.116.186.109 | 15-Sep-03/7:52 PM | Reply
A corpse, a coyote, and the craftiest rhyming of the word 'dead' I've heard since that night I bought an undead poet a drink. Maaaaaaaaarvelous, my dear. I'd give it a sixty-nine out of ten if I could, but instead I'll just go as high as I can and throw in my pants.
[7] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 13-Jun-05/4:00 PM | Reply
The reprises wear out after stanz 5 but a good and original form just the same.
299 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001