Re: untitled by nicole081083	Dovina 69.175.32.104	15-Aug-05/3:06 PM
Pretty good rhythm. Fix the spelling! But mostly try to say it in a less trite way.
Re: Let Go by nicole081083	Dovina 69.175.32.104	15-Aug-05/3:04 PM
At lesst fix the spelling, grammar and tense problems.
Re: Written while Kayaking by Sasha	Dovina 69.175.32.104	15-Aug-05/3:01 PM
You had me with the first verse - really descriptive. But as it relates to arogance and Narcissusism and the rest, well, I don't see it relating.
Re: The Box by PsydewaysTears	Dovina 69.175.32.104	15-Aug-05/2:47 PM
Moses?
Re: a comment on First by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	15-Aug-05/2:10 PM
Never before have you zeroed me. Why?
Re: a comment on Words by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	15-Aug-05/2:09 PM
Correction: I ignore vain praise as many times as it is given, but htank you for commenting.
Re: a comment on Words by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	15-Aug-05/2:06 PM
Shift+F7 brings up Thesaurus in Ms Word. I suppose that's like holding the ladder.
Re: sad moments by rbooey	Sasha 68.49.8.49	15-Aug-05/1:26 PM
Please, fix the misspellings. You don't have anything exciting or artful here, just a dull meditation on the afterlife. I have been forced to read many, many poems like this and smile indulgently at their authors and say "it's nice." Online, however, I have no compunction about telling you that this poem is worthless. I mean that as no offense, I'm just telling you what I think.
Re: untitled by nicole081083	Sasha 68.49.8.49	15-Aug-05/1:17 PM
Dull
Re: a comment on More Than The World by XOXScottishgrlXOX	Sasha 68.49.8.49	15-Aug-05/1:14 PM
I'm going to pick a bone here. Say "Everybody got their problems" or "We all got our problems" or whatever you feel like. "They" as a singular pronoun has been used for over a century. There's nothing wrong with writing the English you speak. The only difference between a grammatically "correct" and "incorrect" construction is whether or not it happened to get standardized (and fossilized) when a language was first written down or thereafter. I'm not being ungrammatical by using "you" as a singular pronoun instead of "thou" although many prescriptive grammaticians of centuries past cried that to do so was to vandalize the English language. Therefore to say "We all got our problems" is incorrect is almost as rediculous as saying that Dante really wrote in grammatically incorrect Latin. Now about the poem, it's bad. It doesen't read like a poem at all but more like a 10 year old's improvised prayer before bedtime. I can't see any way to salvage it. Sorry.
Re: Greyhound Bus by Sunshine Conkey	Bethy 24.222.32.196	15-Aug-05/1:02 PM
fun poem :) Bethy
Re: Let Go by nicole081083	Bethy 24.222.32.196	15-Aug-05/12:59 PM
Truthful song!!! would love to hear it set to music...sad and yet uplifting...just knowing there is...someone...there with you...I totlally get your meaning...Been there... :) :) Bethy
Re: Secret Dream-Thoughts of a Married Man by Bethy	Sasha 68.49.8.49	15-Aug-05/12:58 PM
I'm not sure the jagged metrics work for this poem. Excellent use of everlast as a verb (or possibly a noun)
Re: untitled by nicole081083	Bethy 24.222.32.196	15-Aug-05/12:55 PM
good job Nicole...:) Bethy
Re: Home by Bethy	Sasha 68.49.8.49	15-Aug-05/12:53 PM
Better.
Re: a comment on Let Go by nicole081083	Sasha 68.49.8.49	15-Aug-05/12:52 PM
ّI don't mean something worth reading *about*. If that's what you're after, go write a novel. I mean wordings and phrases that are interesting. Use the words to show, not tell. This could be a good poem. Make it one.
Re: a comment on Let Go by nicole081083	nicole081083 216.145.72.176	15-Aug-05/10:34 AM
I think it is something worth reading about. It's a story about a woman who finds God and realizes that even though her husband left her, she's gonna be ok
Re: Let Go by nicole081083	Sasha 68.49.8.49	15-Aug-05/10:13 AM
This poem is dead on the page, give it some life, something worth reading.
Re: Hiding by x babie alison x	Sasha 68.49.8.49	15-Aug-05/10:10 AM
This is more prose than poetry. Although it sounded pretty cool when I had my friend read it with a Pakistani accent while I was stoned out of my mind.
Re: I'm too friggin' rich to even title this poem by T. Jonathron Remp	Dental Panic 84.31.86.195	15-Aug-05/4:52 AM
Just saw the movie - good fun.