Re: a comment on More Than The World by XOXScottishgrlXOX	zodiac 212.38.134.51	14-Aug-05/11:27 PM
Or, "I know a guy who has problems." You know, make it a little personal.
Re: a comment on More Than The World by XOXScottishgrlXOX	zodiac 212.38.134.51	14-Aug-05/11:27 PM
"We all got our problems" is the grammatically correct answer to the question "Did you all get your problems?" I'm not a chauvinist (I have a Master's in feminist criticism. My subspecialty was racial criticism, so I'm not racist either.) That said, "his" is an acceptable option for unspecified gender. About a quarter of the professors I know use pretty much only "his". Another quarter uses the clunky "his or hers", another quarter mixes up hises and herses, and another just tri to avoid the situation altogether. A good example of avoiding the situation altogether (which I recommend for this poem) is "We all have our own problems".
Re: The cat who would fly by nentwined	Bethy 24.222.32.211	14-Aug-05/2:24 PM
MEOW !!! good one...Bethy:)
Re: Forever by my side by RGSsparky	Bethy 24.222.32.211	14-Aug-05/2:22 PM
Good thoughts...words Sparky...emotional...Bethy :)
Re: I'm too friggin' rich to even title this poem by T. Jonathron Remp	Bethy 24.222.32.190	14-Aug-05/2:17 PM
Money money money money!!!! but Jon you gotta send some of that cash to the little children...K... Bethy :)
Re: Stream of Consciousness (#1) by Enkidu	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	14-Aug-05/1:11 PM
Without a definitive title stream of consciousness poems are pointless in my opinion. Do a psychological evaluation of the poem and then title it. Otherwise it's just babbling.
Re: Shadow by TLRufener	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	14-Aug-05/12:35 PM
Them and they are OK as long as the person is unspecified. Especially in reference to an unknown gender. "Him or her" becomes replaced by "them" until the sex is identified. "Him or her" is the formal and best way to say it. "They" is informal and frowned on by english teachers but is used often in common speach. You do use the forms of they a little too often in this poem though, when in some places you could omit it entirely and still make the point. Or you could just change "Someone creeps" to "They creep" all though that would give you another they. Ah hell. just change the title to "Them" too. I liked the story though.
Re: a comment on Words by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	14-Aug-05/11:58 AM
Correction: "Correction"
Re: The Box by PsydewaysTears	that_funny_girl 152.163.100.135	14-Aug-05/11:42 AM
it has a really great rhythm its pleasing to read but it doesnt make much sense
Re: Parody Of Sadness by Miggy	that_funny_girl 152.163.100.135	14-Aug-05/11:38 AM
I liked some of the verses alot, some of them were really really good, but then others just didnt sound that great, or didn't make much sense
Re: a comment on Words by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	14-Aug-05/9:03 AM
Corection: "already"
Re: Words by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	14-Aug-05/8:59 AM
"Vain praise" is redundant if your all ready ignoring it. Unless you mean vain as in conceit then it reads really schizophrenic. The rest is good. Careful the ladder holder might be peeking up your nighty.
Re: a comment on More Than The World by XOXScottishgrlXOX	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	14-Aug-05/8:22 AM
Sorry. Their is the possessive form of they. My Dyslexia strikes again.
Re: a comment on More Than The World by XOXScottishgrlXOX	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	14-Aug-05/8:18 AM
Recent immigrants? I assume you weren't trying to be racist. Hell half the recent immigrants I know and I do know quite a few speak better english than half the native born Americans I know. If "We all got our problems" is grammatically correct and our is the possessive form of we and they is the possessive form of their then where's the problem? Go to this url - http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=they - and read the usage note for "they" and you will see that all though technically "Everyone has their problems" is wrong it is still accepted by over half the people (not hillbillies) tested. Which is basically what I said in my comment. Most of the people who read the first version of the poem weren't confused by the line, I'm sure. I also stated that it was inappropriate to use such casual grammar in this type of poem. A hillbilly would say "Everyone gots them some problems". I know plenty of hillbillies too. A male chauvinist would say "Everyone has HIS own problems". I never said "Everyone has their own problems" would be a perfectly fine. Just that it would be clearer than just "their" which could be interpreted as each other's problems. I also never said to use it in this poem. In fact I advised against it. My point was to assure the poet that grammar doesn't always have to be perfect in poetry if you have a reason to use common less perfect language. I didn't mean to step all over your comment I just didn't want the author to be permanently scared of using slang. You can be intimidating sometimes Zodiac. Verily I agree with your first comment and I still think your smarter than me.
Re: Stream of Consciousness (#1) by Enkidu	patty t 70.30.211.173	14-Aug-05/7:10 AM
how dare you fart in my face.
Re: a comment on Waiting Room by jessicazee	zodiac 212.38.134.51	14-Aug-05/1:59 AM
Oops, sorry! That posted on the wrong poem. Sorry, sorry. I'm deleting it now.
Re: Stream of Consciousness (#1) by Enkidu	zodiac 212.38.134.51	14-Aug-05/1:56 AM
And Joseph made haste; for his bowels did yearn upon his brother: and he sought where to weep; and he entered into his chamber, and wept there.
Re: The cat who would fly by nentwined	zodiac 212.38.134.51	14-Aug-05/1:22 AM
The best of your recent ones. -9-
Re: a comment on Waiting Room by jessicazee	jessicazee 64.12.117.5	14-Aug-05/1:19 AM
Wha?
Re: I hate you too U2 by D. $ Fontera	zodiac 212.38.134.51	14-Aug-05/1:18 AM
PS-I liked the spider-in-the-ear. But any poem that uses multiple linebreaks for dramatic pauses or the passing of time is an automatic minus-2. Sorry, those are the rules.