poemranker ::The cat who would fly by nentwined

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Free verse № 129512

The cat who would fly

by nentwined

Member since 2001 · Posted 11 Aug 2005 · 9 comments

Tearing the paper of my face, otherwise so placid--thoughts of a past that's not yet happened; where my kitten frolics, just a memory of this frail thing in front of me; she coughs and pushes towards me, threading her claws through the air; life and death really are this simple.

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A favorite of nentwined.

9 comments

[n/a] <~> 11-Aug-05/1:54 PM Reply
placid may not be the right word, k. it diminishes the impact of the rest of the otherwise strong poem.
[n/a] Mona Lisa 12-Aug-05/9:01 AM Reply
Line 6 just affects the whole thing. Otherwise its a peach.
[8] Shuushin 12-Aug-05/1:01 PM Reply
I very much like the ending - I think maybe too many small words pull the punch a bit.
[8] Dovina 12-Aug-05/7:15 PM Reply
Do you mean "off my face"?

"a past that's not yet happened" the cycle, the simple thing.

It does seem that simple sometimes.
[9] zodiac 14-Aug-05/1:22 AM Reply
The best of your recent ones. -9-
[9] Bethy 14-Aug-05/2:24 PM Reply
MEOW !!! good one...Bethy:)
[10] INTRANSIT 17-Aug-05/4:11 PM Reply
My first instinct was -ace. then I went and read the other comments. stupid me. I agree with <~>. I disagree with Mona Lisa and Shuush.
[9] drnick 17-Feb-06/8:31 AM Reply
like the 3rd and last line the best, nice.
[5] Jill Stockinger 15-Jan-07/8:05 PM Reply
parts too unclear,
i liked the last 3 lines-

with paper of my face- don't use a metaphor if you won't develop it or DId you mean Off my face, as Dovina asked--