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CommentsComments 16701–16720 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

zodiac on I hate you too U2 by D. $ Fontera 14 Aug 2005, 1:17 AM
Hey, no one's done that wordplay before!
zodiac on The Stinging by Mona Lisa 14 Aug 2005, 1:16 AM
Do you really think that what wasps are doing in their hives is, um, stinging things? Other than that, nice.
zodiac on Words by Dovina 14 Aug 2005, 1:13 AM
Is he the inventor of Shift+F7?
zodiac on First by Dovina 14 Aug 2005, 1:04 AM
Verily. -0-
zodiac replying on Never born. by | Broken | 14 Aug 2005, 12:40 AM
"The itchiest itch is only a shadow of some greater almighty itch" is the most illogical thing I've ever said, and I feel it to the core of my being. How ya like dem apples? You're not answering my point. CS Lewis' proof of God is the transience of earthly pleasure and his feeling that there's got to be some better pleasure out there. If you felt that earthly misery was pretty tepid overall, and you just KNEW there was some greater, higher misery out there, what would that be proof of? Um, God. My examples are exactly the same as CS, except mine make God sound kind of like a jackass, in my opinion. And this is all bum thinking (or feeling?) to begin with. For all the reasons above. To wit, there's no reason to believe a word like, say, satisfaction means 'some perfect state of well-being pretty much unattainable in earthly existence'. Your problem, if I may say so Dovina, is that you keep forgetting words are just things we made up once.
zodiac replying on More Than The World by XOXScottishgrlXOX 14 Aug 2005, 12:31 AM
Consider who is using it in common language. Recent immigrants, my friend, recent immigrants. Is that really the face you want to show the world? "We all got our problems" is grammatically correct, if not exactly right for the present situation. Most half-educated people I know also habitually say "Everyone has his own problems" or "We all have problems". Which are easier and just as clear, if anything. I agree with your point that "Everyone has their own problems" would be a perfectly fine thing to include in a poem written, say, in the voice of a hillbilly.
zodiac replying on More Than The World by XOXScottishgrlXOX 14 Aug 2005, 12:27 AM
Describe "almost omnipotent".
Dovina on Shadow by TLRufener 12 Aug 2005, 7:27 PM
I like it except for the use of "them" and "they" in referring to a person. The ending is great.
Dovina on sculpture by ThePariahDog 12 Aug 2005, 7:25 PM
The first 4 lines are good, given the tight restraint you've chosen. The last 4 lines drift from the theme.
Dovina on Forever by my side by RGSsparky 12 Aug 2005, 7:23 PM
Good thoughts, but need better poetic expression.
Dovina on The cat who would fly by nentwined 12 Aug 2005, 7:15 PM
Do you mean "off my face"? "a past that's not yet happened" the cycle, the simple thing. It does seem that simple sometimes.
Shuushin on The cat who would fly by nentwined 12 Aug 2005, 1:01 PM
I very much like the ending - I think maybe too many small words pull the punch a bit.
Mona Lisa on The cat who would fly by nentwined 12 Aug 2005, 9:01 AM
Line 6 just affects the whole thing. Otherwise its a peach.
ALChemy replying on I Never Thought by TLRufener 12 Aug 2005, 6:48 AM
Better.
ALChemy on sculpture by ThePariahDog 12 Aug 2005, 6:44 AM
This is a concrete poem. Pretty neat on too.
jessicazee replying on Waiting Room by jessicazee 11 Aug 2005, 6:51 PM
What a nice thing to say. Thanks so much! I needed that today, and I may even be motivated to finally get all my shit together & make a little book. Thank you!
<~> on The cat who would fly by nentwined 11 Aug 2005, 1:54 PM
placid may not be the right word, k. it diminishes the impact of the rest of the otherwise strong poem.
Well thank you. It came to me in a blinding flash. Actually, it was more like a series of blurry bursts. Well, come to think of it, it was in fact closer to a long, dim hum of myopia.
Bethy on Stream of Consciousness (#1) by Enkidu 10 Aug 2005, 10:21 AM
Keep going...keep going...this is really great...Bethy:)
Jon this is magnificent...its a fav for me...Bethy:)